Second Chances
by purplepagoda
Summary: Gibbs asks her about what she did to save Jenny's life in Cairo. When she finally answers he will be shocked. Her answer is far more than he bargained for. He cant turn back the hands of time. She cant take back the truth no matter how life changing it is
1. Burning Question

They two of them sit in the bullpen. She sits at her desk, focused on the keyboard. He approaches her. She looks up at him.

"I do not have an update yet," she reveals.

"Ziva can I ask you something?"

"Anything, Gibbs."

"Jenny told me that you save her life, in Cairo."

"Where did that come from?"

"I don't know. I guess I have just been thinking about her, lately."

"That wasn't a question," she points out.

"She never told me how."

"You want me to tell you?"

"I was hoping that you would."

"You should have asked her."

"I can't ask her. She's dead."

"I know that, but if you wanted to know, you should have asked her."

"There is no use protecting her, now. I am asking you."

"She asked me not to talk about it."

"She can't do anything about it now."

"Now is not the time," she clarifies.

"Ok," he concedes, walking away.

It wasn't the fact that Jenny had forbidden her from talking about it, that kept her from telling him. It was the fact that some things are better left in the past. There are some things in your life that you do not want to relive, that day was one of them. There are some things that cannot be unseen. No matter how hard she tried to bury it, she couldn't. She had replayed that day over, and over in her head a million times. She could never understand it.

_July 28th, 2003-Cairo_

_It was hotter than a steaming pile of dog crap, outside. Ziva parks the car, and heads into the hotel with dinner. Jenny had refused to leave the comfort of their air conditioned room. How that had caught a break that lucky, Ziva would never know. She didn't need to know how Jenny had managed to find the only air conditioned room available in the whole country, in the middle of July. _

_She gets onto the elevator, unaware of the scene that awaits her. The elevator stops on the third floor, and she gets off. She makes a left, and heads towards a room at the end of the hallway. When she reaches the room she makes the realization that the door is open a crack. Jenny would never leave the door open, the cold air would escape. Ziva drops the bag on the floor, and draws her weapon. She pushes the door open with her foot. She steps into the room. _

_The first thing she notices is all the blood. There is blood all over the room. Their are shell casings on the floor. There are a few misses in the walls. She steps into the bathroom, and finds it empty. She tucks her weapon away, and moves towards the bed close to the air conditioner. She walks past the bed. She finds Jenny lying on the floor. She lies on her side. Ziva quickly drops to her knees, next to Jenny. She rolls her onto her back. _

_"Jenny, can you hear me?"_

_Jenny breathes laboriously. She touches her face, "Jenny?" Jenny's breath hitches, and she opens her eyes. She looks at Ziva, and her eyes quickly close. Ziva stares at Jenny. She is covered in blood. There is blood all over the floor, and on the bed. The blood covers Jenny's NIS t-shirt that she had slipped on when they returned to the room. Ziva stares at the shirt, unsure where all of the blood is coming from._

_"Where is all of the blood coming from?" she questions. _

_Jenny opens her eyes for a moment. She points to her right side. Ziva grabs a pillow, and tears the pillow case off of it. She presses it against Jenny's abdomen. The blood soaks the pillow case in a matter of maybe a minute. Ziva tosses the pillow case aside, and lifts up Jenny's shirt. She uses a shirt laying nearby to wipe off some of the blood, in order to see. She finds the entry wound. _

She snaps back into reality to find Gibbs staring at her from the center of the room. McGee, and DiNozzo stand next to him. She jumps out of her seat, and joins them next to the screen.

"Day dreaming about your lover boy?" Tony teases.

"Not quite," she admits.

"If you two are done playing games..." Gibbs scolds.

"Right, boss," Tony nods.

McGee, Tony, and Ziva yammer on about their findings.

"McGee you're with me," Gibbs reveals.

Ziva follows Tony to the elevator. When they reach the garage she doesn't argue with him about driving, she simply tosses him the keys.


	2. If We Make It Out Alive

_July 28th, 2003_

_She applies pressure to the wound, with here bare hands. Something moves beneath her fingers. She stares at Jenny. _

_"Wake up!" she insists._

_Jenny opens her eyes._

_"Is there something you failed to mention?"_

_"I didn't have a choice."_

_"I need you to stay awake."_

_"Ziva?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"We're about to have company."_

_"You think that they're coming back?"_

_"Not what I meant," she admits._

_"You are kidding, right?"_

_"No."_

_"I cannot make the bleeding stop. I have no clue where the bullet is, and you are telling me that..."_

_"I'm sorry. I should have told you."_

_"I am assuming that no one else knows."_

_"They wouldn't have let me come, if they did."_

_"You thought that this would be a good idea?"_

_"This was supposed to be over with two weeks ago, I thought that I had plenty of time."_

_"Define plenty of time."_

_"Eight, or nine weeks."_

_"Is there a reason that you are hiding this?"_

_"It was not part of plan, any plan."_

_"What do you want me to do? I can take you to a hospital. Can you walk?"_

_"We don't have time for that."_

_"Where is all of this blood coming from?"_

_"I don't want to think about that right now," Jenny replies._

_"How much time do you think we have?"_

_Jenny grimaces, "None," she replies._

_Ziva stares at her in shock. _

_Hours later Ziva sits in a hospital waiting room. She awaits any news. Jenny had been in surgery for hours, and she had heard nothing. A nurse approaches her._

_"You can see her now. She's in room 216."_

_Ziva jumps out of her chair, and heads down the hallway. She doesn't take a breath until she reaches room 216. She walks through the open door. She finds Jenny in a bed near the window. She takes a seat in the chair next to her bed. _

_"This is not how I pictured my day going," Ziva admits._

_"Sorry," Jenny apologizes groggily, opening her eyes._

_"You are awake?"_

_"I owe you."_

_"Maybe I will collect one day."_

_"I doubt that I can ever fully repay you."_

_"You would have done the same, for me."_

_"You would not have omitted such important details."_

_"I am not so sure."_

_"What happened, after I passed out?"_

_"I brought you here, and they rushed you into surgery."_

_"I know that. I am referring to the other part."_

_"Stable for now, too soon to tell anything else."_

_"Stable? Are you sure?"_

_"I was just in there, half an hour ago."_

_"And how..."_

_"He is pink now. He was sound asleep."_

_"He?"_

_"You did not know?"_

_"No."_

She climbs into her bed. She goes the turn off the lamp, but something stops her. She pulls open the drawer of her nightstand, and pulls out a picture. A tiny face stares back at her.

_July 29th, 2003_

_"Does the father know?"_

_"No," Jenny shakes her head._

_"Are you going to tell him?"_

_"No."_

_"Never?"_

_"He doesn't need to know."_

_"Maybe you should call him, and tell him."_

_"Not until I know how things are going to turn out, for sure."_

_"You should pick a name."_

_"A name? How can I pick a name, I haven't even seen him."_

_"I have seen him. I can tell you about him. He's three pounds twelve ounces. He has tiny feet. His fingers seem almost as long as his feet. I almost forgot the best part."_

_"There are ten fingers, and ten toes?"_

_"He has a little bit of hair."_

_"He has hair?"_

_"I think that it is red, but it is kind of hard to tell with all of the stuff in it."_

_"This went really wrong. Why are you here, with me, right now?"_

_"Is there someone else that should be here?"_

_"No, but you don't have to stay."_

_"Someone has to make sure that you do not rip out your IV."_

_"Why don't you name him?"_

_"You want me to name him?"_

_"Yes, and if we all make it out of Egypt alive, I want you to be his godmother."_

_"That is not practical."_

_"Nothing is going to happen to me," she reassures her._

_"I know nothing about children."_

_"Do I look like I do?"_

_"What about the father?"_

_"He is never to find out."_

_"Why not?"_

_"He would kill me for not telling him."_

_"You have a past with him?"_

_"Yes."_

_"You were in a relationship with him?"_

_"A lifetime ago. I barely speak to him, now."_

_"And eight months ago?"_

_"I did not expect for it to happen."_


	3. Unanswered Questions

"Ziva?"

She looks up at the person sitting next to her at the table.

"Huh?" she answers him.

"Your phone," he points.

She grabs the ringing phone, and pulls it to her ear. "David. Ok, I'll be there in twenty," she hangs up.

The person sitting next to her slurps the milk from his cereal bowl.

"Bo, you need to grab your stuff. I will drop you off..."

He sits the bowl down, and cuts her off mid-sentence, "Grandma went to Atlantic City. She won't be back until Sunday night."

"I will call Katie."

"Katie is visiting her brother, in Ohio. She won't be back until Wednesday."

"I will call a babysitter."

His greenish blue, eyes sparkle. "Do you remember what happened the last time you did that?"

"She quit, and the fire department had to be called. Why do you have to get into trouble?"

"I'm seven, my mom is dead, my father is... AWOL. The icing on the cake is that my legal guardian is a former assassin. It is hard for me to be a normal kid."

"Bo," she warns.

"Just take me to work with you. I am almost eight, I am old enough to go with you. I'll be on my best behavior."

"Your birthday isn't until July."

"Please," he begs.

"Go brush your teeth, please," she answers.

"You were supposed to take me to get my hair cut today," he reminds her.

"It can wait another week. You are the one who insists on keeping it so short. Now go brush your teeth."

"Fine," he crosses his arms, and stomps off in the other direction.

He grabs his coat, and his bag, and meets her at the door. She pulls a hat out of his pocket. She pulls it over his red hair.

"Where are you going to drop me off at?"

"You are going with me."

His eyes light up. "Finally."

Ziva steps off the elevator. Bo follows closely behind her. DiNozzo, and McGee stare at her. She stops at her desk.

"Sit!" she tells Bo, "Don't touch anything," she warns.

"Are you going to leave me here, by myself?"

"No you are going to go hang out with Abby."

"Abby? I have never met her, I doubt that I'll like her," he argues.

DiNozzo approaches her desk. He looks at the boy, and then at Ziva.

"Where did you get a kid?" DiNozzo inquires.

"She found me, on the street," Bo quips.

"Bo, don't be rude," she scolds.

"Sorry."

"Seriously Ziva, why do you have kid in tow?"

"Tony, why do you ask so many questions?"

"You're my partner, there are things I need to know."

"What do you need to know about this?"

"Is it yours?"

Bo's head pops up. "Do I look like I belong to her?"

"No. And I think that she would have mentioned you by now."

"Don't be so sure."

"Bo, why don't you play your game?"

"You wouldn't let me bring it."

She hands him an ink pen, and a piece of paper. He looks up at her, with greenish blue eyes.

"What do you want me to do with that?"

"Make a rough draft."

"Of what?"

"You have lots of ideas, I'm sure you can come up with something," she answers.

"Maybe I'll write about child abuse."

"I suggest you choose another topic, unless you want to become an abused child."

"Yes, ma'am," he agrees.

She leans against the front of her desk. Tony stares at her.

"What?"

"This is the part where you tell me why you brought a kid to work, with you."

"I am not going to tell you, because it doesn't concern you."

"Does it have to do with the case?"

"No."

"So why do you have a kid, with you?"

"I am supposed to be watching him right now."

Tony walks past her. He stops, and studies the boy. Bo looks up at him.

"You want to ask me something, Agent DiNozzo?"

"How did you get stuck with her?"

"You should ask my mother that."

"Give me her number, and I will."

"Good luck getting a hold of her."

"She doesn't answer her phone?"

"She hasn't answered her phone in years. If you can get her to answer, the world will probably stop turning."

He looks at Ziva, with a puzzled look on his face, "What's his deal?"

"He's just upset."

"What did you do to him?"

"For starters I had to eat cheerios for breakfast," he begins, "because she doesn't have any coco puffs."

"You do not need any more sugar, in your diet," she warns.

"Why?"

"You know why," she replies.

"Let me guess... because you said so?"

"I don't need any other reason."

"Bo how do you know this crazy ninja chick?"

"She's sort of like my aunt," he reveals.

"Sort of like your aunt?" Tony furrows his brow.

"We're not related, but she's the closet thing I have to an aunt."

"So she spoils you?"

"No, that's grandma's job."


	4. One Answer

Gibbs comes into the squad room. He stops at Ziva's desk. Bo stares at him, with a goofy grin. Gibbs looks at Tony, who throws up his hands, and then points at his partner.

"My eyes must be going bad, or the new agents must be getting younger."

"This is Bo," Ziva offers up.

"Bo," he extends his hand, "I'm Jethro."

"I know who you are," Bo admits.

Gibbs turns and looks at Ziva. "Ziver? You want to tell me what's going on?"

"He is going to go with Abby, as soon as she gets here."

"Why?"

"Because she has to go to a crime scene," Bo answers.

Ziva turns around, and shoots him a look. "Bo, please," she warns. He folds his arms across his chest.

"Zi, just tell him," Bo begs.

"Not now, Bo."

"Ziva I suggest that you tell me what's going on here."

"I'm supposed to be watching him."

"For who?"

"A friend," she reveals.

"And why can't this friend come pick him up?"

"It's sort of complicated," Ziva admits.

"Sort of?" Bo chimes in.

"Call her, and tell her to pick him up."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Dead people don't answer phones," Bo replies.

"Ziva, elevator, now!" Gibbs barks. "Tony watch him."

"Yes, boss."

Ziva follows him to the elevator. The doors close, and he flips the switch on the panel. The lights go out. He stands, facing her. He crosses his arms.

"I'm waiting," he stamps his foot.

"I think it's time we talk about Cairo."

"What does this have to do with Cairo?"

"Everything."

"Everything? How?"

"Bo's mom is dead."

"And his father?"

"Not in the picture."

"Grandparents?"

"His grandmother is old. He is a boisterous kid."

"So you help her out?"

"It's a little more than that."

"Ziva, what's going on?"

"I am Bo's legal guardian. I have been since his mom died."

"When do you have time to take care of a kid?"

"I don't, really."

"Then how do you do it?"

"He stays at school during the week. He comes home during breaks, and on the weekends."

"Boarding school?"

"Not exactly. It's here in D.C. It's a special school, for gifted children."

"Gifted how?"

"When he started kindergarten his teachers noticed that he had no interest in what the other children were doing. She thought that maybe he had some sort of learning disability, so she had him take an IQ test. It turns out he wasn't interested, because he was bored. He scored 150 on his IQ test."

"What's that mean?"

"He started in Kindergarten, and within two weeks he was in the second grade."

"Ok, but..."

"You're wondering who would leave their child to me?"

He nods.

"The other day you asked me how I saved Jenny's life, in Egypt."

"Yes, I did. This relates somehow?"

"She was shot."

"You kept her from dying?"

"She lost a lot of blood. I didn't think that she was going to make it. She went into shock on our way to the hospital."

"You saved her life, with your insane driving?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe? Jenny made it seem as if you took so heroic measure, as if she had a debt to you."

"She felt she did."

"Why?"

"Because it wasn't just her life I saved that day."

"What do you mean?"

"He was there too."

"The kid?"

"Yes," she nods.

"How old is he? Eight? Why would he have been there? Why would Jenny feel indebted to you, for saving his life?"

"You don't know?"

"Know what, Ziva?"

"Bo isn't eight yet."

"Seven?"

"Seven," she nods.

"Seven years ago you and Jenny were in Egypt."

"She was pregnant, when she got shot. It sent her into labor. I delivered Bo, on the floor of our hotel room."

He stares at her in total disbelief.

"Jenny died almost three years ago."

"I know."

"You have been his legal guardian for three years?"

"Yes."

"And you never told me?"

"No," she shakes her head, "Because Jenny didn't want you to know."

"She's dead. I can't see why it matters now. What about his father? Why didn't Jenny leave Bo with him?"

"Because he doesn't know."


	5. I Just Did

"He's dead?"

"No."

"Jenny didn't know who it was?"

"She knew, she just never told him."

"Why not?"

"Because she didn't want him to know."

"So you're going to keep juggling all the hours you work here, and a kid, to keep Jenny's secret, even though she's dead? She isn't going to come back and haunt you."

"I know."

"How have you managed this, for three years?"

"It hasn't been easy."

"So why are you doing it?"

"Because I promised Jenny that I would."

"When? When she got sick?"

"She wasn't entirely sure that Bo would make it out of the hospital. She asked that if he did, I would be his godmother."

"She asked you seven years ago, and you agreed?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I didn't think that anything would happen to her."

"But it did."

"What was I supposed to do? Let Bo go into foster care? I wasn't going to let that happen."

"What about when you went back to Israel?"

"He stayed with Jenny's mother for the summer."

"You never intended to stay forever?"

"No I knew that it was only a matter of time before my father an I came to blows. Bo barely even noticed that I was gone. He was upset that I missed his birthday, but he spent the entire summer at the beach."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I promised not to."

"Why didn't Jenny ever mention him? To anyone?"

"She didn't want anyone to know. She tried her hardest to protect him. She thought that keeping him a secret was going to do that."

"And has it?"

"Not really. He's almost eight. He asks a lot of questions, and I can't answer him. He wants to know about his father, and I am tired of dodging his questions."

"You know who it is?"

"Yes. That is why it is so hard to avoid answering his questions. He needs his father. He needs a man in his life. I try to do my best, but I not a man, I'm not his father. I'm not even his mother.

He barely remembers Jenny. He tells me that he's afraid that one day he's going to wake up, and he's not going to be able to remember her face. The other day he told me that he couldn't remember what she sounded like, anymore. I was able to find a news clip of her, to play him. He misses her, and there is nothing I can do about it. He asks me to put him into a different school. He tells me that he doesn't want to live at school. He said that if something happens to me, he wants to be able to remember my voice. I don't know what to say to him.

How do you respond to that? I can make sure that he gets the best education. He has all the toys he could ever want. I make sure that he is clothed, and fed. Although not always up to his standards. He is very particular about his breakfast cereals, and I didn't have time to go to the store, before he came home. He had to have cheerios. I feel guilty, because I made him eat cheerios. I feel bad that I can't do everything in my power to make him happy. I try, but I can't fill the void that Jenny left in his life. I love him, like he was my own. I would die for him, but... I am never going to be his mother. I will never be able to take her place."

"Ziva you should have told me what was going on."

"I know. I just thought that I could handle it. I didn't think it would be so hard."

"That's why you use most of your comp time?"

"Yes," she nods.

"And your trip to Vermont, with Ray?"

"Ray does exist, but I didn't go to Vermont with him. I took Bo to Disney world. He's been begging to go for a while. When I came back from Israel I had missed his birthday, and his first day of school. I asked how I could make it up to him, which is not a good idea with him. He never forgets the things that you tell him. I had to make good on my promise."

"Kids keep you honest."

"I try never to break my promises to him."

"But..."

"I have broken one."

"What's that?"

"I promised that I would let him meet his father, before he went back to school, from Christmas break."

"You didn't?"

"No."

"Does he know who he is?"

"I have never told him, but he is smart."

"So are you going to tell me, who it is?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I need your help."

"My help? You think that I can help?"

"You have experience."

"So do you, apparently."

"Not as much as I need."

"Who came up with the name Bo?"

"I named him."

"You named him? Bo?"

"Technically his name is Toren Boaz. I just usually call him Bo. He won't even answer to Toren. He only answers to Bo, or T."

"Toren. I've heard that name before."

"I'm not entirely surprised."

"It's Hebrew?"

"Yes."

"What does it mean?"

"Ship mast. I thought he needed a name that would have to do with strength. He had a lot of obstacles to overcome, as a baby."

"So are you going to tell his father about him?"

"I just did."


	6. Making Good, On Promises

"What do you mean, you just did?"

"I just told you," she answers.

"Ziva..."

"You're his father."

"I'm his father?"

"Yes," she nods.

He flips the elevator back on, and the doors come open. She steps off. She turns and looks at him.

"Are you coming?"

"In a minute," he responds, trying to catch his breath.

Ziva returns to her desk. She looks at Bo. He smiles at her. He grins from ear to ear. He slides out of her chair, and makes his way over to her. He stops at her side, and looks up at her.

"What?" She inquires. He wraps his arms around her. Tony watches in shock. He expects her to push the boy away. What she does totally shocks him. Instead she wraps the boy in her arms. One of her hands rests on the back of his head. She lets go of him. He steps back, and she smiles at him.

"You need a haircut."

"I told you that this morning," he reminds.

"I know."

"Zi?"

"Yes, Bo?"

"You just made good on that promise, didn't you?"

"Yes," she reveals.

"Where did he go?"

"He's riding the elevator."

"Can I..."

She answers before he finishes the question, "Yes."

He races over to the elevator, and pushes the button. The doors fly open, and he steps on.  
Tony looks at her, and smiles. "So Aunty Ziva? Do you have any other dirty little secrets?"

"No."

"He's Jenny's?"

"He told you?"

"Yep."

"He looks like her."

"Yes," she agrees.

"And, Gibbs."

"Yes," Ziva nods.

"You aren't supposed to agree to that."

"Why not?"

"He's Gibbs?"

Bo stares at Gibbs. Gibbs stares back, unable to say anything. Gibbs flips the elevator off. Bo doesn't get alarmed. He just smiles.

"You'll do," he announces.

Jethro can't help but smile. "You sure about that, Bo?"

"Yes," he nods.

"You know who I am?"

"Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Former Marine, not that there really is such a thing. Once a Marine always a Marine. You were a Gunnery Sergeant in the Marines. And, you're my father."

"Yes, I am all of those things."

"I've heard a lot about you."

"From your mom?"

"I don't remember a whole lot, before she died. What I remember hearing about you, are things Ziva has told me."

"She's doing an ok job?"

"Aside from forgetting about my coco puffs occasionally, she's great."

"I suppose you have some questions for me."

"Just a couple, that I need to know."

"Shoot."

"She told you my full name?"

"Almost as bad as mine."

"You know what Toren means?"

"Yes."

"My first name means ship mast. I need to know when you're going to take me sailing."

"I have to build the boat first."

"Can I help?"

"It's the only way I'll let you ride on her."

"Her? Your boat is a her?"

"Yup."

"Does she have a name?"

"Jenny."

"Gibbs?"

"Yeah, Bo?"

"How do you feel about school?"

"You can't quit."

"I have to finish what I started. I know that."

"Good man. That's something important to realize."

"Lots of people forget to finish what they've started."

"Yeah, I've been guilty of it myself, a time or two."

"Really? When?"

"With your mom."

"What do you mean?"

"I never told her I loved her."

"She knew."

"Do you like staying with Ziva?"

"Yeah. She feels guilty sometimes, so she lets me eat ice cream, and stay up late watching movies, on Saturdays. Then she lets me sleep in on Sunday."

"And you like school?"

"I don't like staying at school."

"You'd rather stay somewhere else?"

"Yeah, home."

"What do you say we give Ziva a break, tonight? You can come stay with me."

"I can't."

"You can't? Why not?"

"I'm going to let you in on a secret, something that she won't admit."

"And what's that?"

"She needs me, just as much as I need her, Gibbs."

Jethro smiles, "You don't have to call me Gibbs."

"Sir?"

"Definitely not."

"What should I call you, then?"

"What do you want to call me?"

"I'll let you know, when I decide."


	7. Withholding The Truth

"Don't you have a case?"

"Yes."

"I'm supposed to go hang out with Abby," Bo admits.

"Well then we should go find her."

The elevator doors open. Bo follows Gibbs into Abby's lab. She studies her computer screen.

"Hey Gibbs."

"I brought you a present."

Abby spins around. She smiles, upon seeing the little boy. "Hello, handsome."

"Abby," he smiles, charmingly.

"You're Bo?"

"Yes ma'am."

"You're very mannerly, but you don't have to call me ma'am."

"Miss?"

"You can just call me Abby, Bo."

"Sorry m... Abby, it's just a habit. I get in trouble, if I'm not polite."

"I know," she smiles.

"Abby?"

"Yes, Gibbs?"

"Tell me what you know."

"What I know? You haven't gone to the crime scene yet. How could I know anything?"

"You seem to have prior knowledge, about him."

"Why are you bringing him down here? Ziva was supposed to bring him."

"You answer me first. What do you know?"

"Not much. Ziva just asked me to watch him."

"How long have you known?"

"Known what?"

"Whatever you know."

"Um... I found out about a year ago."

"How? Ziva told you?"

"Sort of."

_February 12th, 2010_

_Ziva is standing in Abby's lab, when her phone rings. She checks the caller I.D., and pulls it to her ear._

_"Hello? Yes, I'm almost done. I'll see you in a little while. Bye," he hangs up._

_Abby looks at her, "Your date for Valentines day?"_

_"I don't have a date," she admits._

_"Who are you going to see?"_

_"I have plans, it's just not a date."_

_"Plans with who? Someone I know."_

_"No, nobody you know."_

_"Who?"_

_"Bo."_

_"Bo? Who is Bo?"_

_"Um... how do I explain it to you? It's complicated."_

_"Complicated how?"_

_"I don't know exactly how to explain the relationship."_

_"On again, off again? A gay friend?"_

_"No," she shakes her head. She scrolls through pictures on her phone. She stops on one with her, and Bo, at an arcade. He stands in front of her. He wears a pair of jeans, and a green polo. She wears a pair of khaki's and a navy blue, three-quarter length shirt. Her fingers are laced, in front of him. His grandmother had insisted on taking the picture. Bo smiles, goofily at the camera. Ziva laughs at his face. She holds the phone up to Abby._

_"That is Bo."_

_"The kid?"_

_"Yes," she nods._

_"You are spending your Friday night, before Valentine's day, with a kid?"_

_"I spend every Friday night, that I'm not here, with him."_

_"Why? Who is he?"_

_"I am his godmother."_

_"His godmother? You spend every Friday night with him? You are seriously dedicated."_

_"I spend all of my free time with him."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I am pretty much all he has."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"When you agree to be a godparent to a child, you never really think that anything is going to happen to their parents. You think that it's going to be fun. You get to spoil them, and feed them sugary treats, when their mothers not looking. That, unfortunately, isn't always true. Sometimes things happen, and you don't get to be the fun person, who spoils them, anymore. You become the person who makes them follow rules, and eat vegetables."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"His mother is dead, and his father... he isn't in his life."_

_"You're telling me that you are responsible, for a kid?"_

_"Yes," she nods._

_"And during the week?"_

_"He goes to a school where the students stay during the week. They can come home on weekends, and breaks, if they chose. Some of them have parents who don't have the time for that. I try to always make time for him, because I am all he has left. Well, that's not true. He has a grandmother, but... she isn't capable of taking care of him, on a regular basis."_

_"So you're really telling me, that you have someone waiting at home for you, right now?"_

_"Yes," she nods._

_"A kid?"_

_"And his nanny."_

_"Then why are you still here?"_

_"I thought that you wanted me to explain it to you."_

_"You volunteered the information, on your own."_

_"I guess so."_

_"You don't usually do that. Is there a reason?"_

_She shrugs, "I have never told anyone else."_

_"So why did you tell me?"_

_"You are good at keeping secrets."_

_"And you needed to get it off your chest?"_

_"I just needed to tell someone. Someone who would understand, and not interrogate me."_

_"The door's always open."_


	8. Holding On To The Past

"And you didn't think that I should know?"

"Gibbs, not now," Abby insists.

He looks at Bo, "Bo," he points to Abby's office. "Go in there, and put on the orange headphones."

"You can just ask me to leave the room so that you can have an adult conversation. I know I'm only seven, but I understand things."

"Please," Jethro implores.

Bo nods, and goes into Abby's lab. Gibbs watches him for a minute, and then turns back to Abby.

"Go ahead. Explain to me why you didn't tell me."

"She confided in me. She expected that I would keep her secret. I wasn't going to betray her trust like that."

"You should have told me."

"I know," she admits.

"Is that all you know?"

"No," she shakes her head.

_February 15th, 2010_

_"Ziva?"_

_"Yes, Abby?"_

_"I know you don't want to be interrogated, but something has been bothering me."_

_"What is that?"_

_"He reminds me of someone."_

_"He reminds me of someone, too."_

_"I couldn't put my finger on it, but then I remembered you said that is mother was dead. Maybe my neurons were misfiring, I mean I had been drinking but..."_

_"You're rambling," Ziva points out._

_"Jenny's face just kept popping up in my head. He reminds me of her, is that totally crazy? You can tell me, if I am stepping out of bounds here."_

_"You're not."_

_"I"m not? About which one?"_

_"Either."_

_"So..."_

_Ziva's face softens. She looks at Abby. Her hands fall to her sides. She takes a deep breath, and responds. _

_"He reminds you of Jenny for a reason."_

_"And you're going to tell me what that is?"_

_"You're not crazy. I am guessing that your mind jumped to conclusions?"_

_"Yes. That he was her son, but Jenny didn't have a son. She never mentioned him. He couldn't be her son."_

_"But he is."_

_"He is? She had a son?"_

_"Yes," Ziva nods._

_"With who?"_

_"Does it matter?"_

_"My brain just runs wild. It could be anyone."_

_"But?"_

_"But Jenny isn't the only person that he reminds me of."_

_"I know."_

_"You know? You know who his father is?"_

_"I had always suspected, but she never confirmed. My suspicions weren't confirmed, until after she died. She left me a letter, along with some of the legal documents."_

_"She never told him?"_

_"No. She felt that she couldn't."_

_"Why?"_

_"I wish that I knew. He asks me that, all of the time, and I can never answer, because I don't know."_

_"Does Bo know who he is?"_

_"I have never told him, he is smart enough to connect all of the dots though."_

_"So am I. Ziva you have to tell him."_

_"Now is not the time."_

_"What gives you the right to decide?"_

_"He's not ready."_

_"Gibbs?"_

_She shakes her head, "I don't know about that. I meant Bo."_

_"How can you be so sure?"_

_"Because he's not done grieving Jenny, yet."_

_"When are you going to tell him?"_

_"I am not sure."_

_"You are going to tell him, aren't you?"_

_"Jenny asked me to. She promised me that I would never tell him."_

_"She's dead. She isn't going to mind if you break that promise."_

_"I know, that's why I intend to."_

He shakes his head in disappointment.

"I understand why Ziva didn't tell me. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't my place."

"It wasn't really Ziva's place either," he argues.

"I know that. I totally agree. Don't take this out on me, or Ziva. Direct your anger at the right person."

"I can't. She's dead."

"I know."

"She's dead, and there is no getting her back."

"You can't change the past. She should have told you, but she didn't."

"She should have told me. I had the right to know."

"I know that."

"Of all people, I expected that you would always tell me the truth."

"Nothing I say is going to make you any less angry."

"You could try."

"I promised Ziva that I would wait, until she told you, to bring it up."

"Why did she wait so long?"

"She wanted to wait, until she knew he was old enough. She wanted to be certain that he could decide for himself, the things that he wanted."

"What do you mean?"


	9. Let It Go

_December 17th, 2010,_

_Ziva paces around the lab, waiting on Abby to come up with results. Abby finds herself having a hard time focusing, with Ziva pacing._

_"Ziva? Is there something on your mind?"_

_"Why do you ask?"_

_"You're pacing."_

_"I'm impatient."_

_"Impatience doesn't usually make you pace. What's going on?"_

_She looks around the room. She moves closer to Abby. She leans against the silver table, behind her. _

_"I talked to Bo on the phone this morning."_

_"Don't you do that every morning?"_

_"Yes," she admits._

_"So what was different? What's making you anxious?"_

_"He told me that he wants to meet his father."_

_"Why does that make you anxious? Because of who his father is?"_

_"No," she shakes her head._

_"Then, why?"_

_"Bo has always asked questions about his father, but..."_

_"But?"_

_"He's never asked to meet him. He's never even given me any inclination that he wanted to meet him."_

_"So what are you going to do?"_

_"It that is what he wants, it is what I'll do."_

_"How?"_

_"I am not sure yet. I don't know how to tell him. It's not an easy conversation. He is my boss. Bo belongs to Jenny. He doesn't know that Jenny had a son. He doesn't know that he's the father. It is complicated."_

_"You're worried about losing him, aren't you?"_

_"He is a child. A very resilient child, but the truth is, he needs me. I need him, too. After I came back from Somalia, I was ready to give up. I was ready to give in to all of the voices in my head. He was the one who made me realize I couldn't."_

_"You're afraid of losing him?" Abby realizes._

_"Yes. I didn't ask to raise him. I never thought that Jenny would leave him. I never wanted to be anyone's parent."_

_"Life isn't always about what you want."_

_"No, and it is a good thing, that it is not. I have learned so much from him. Things that I didn't even know that I was missing."_

_"You have to tell his father."_

_"I know. I just don't know how. I don't want to. I know that I am being selfish, Bo needs his father, but... I just want to keep him to myself."_

_"You have to tell his father."_

_"I know. I will. It is what is best for Bo, and I will always choose what's best for him. I just need to do it on my own time."_

_"You have to do it soon."_

_"Yes, I know. I just want to be certain that he is really ready for this."_

_"You'll know when he is."_ He looks at Abby, and then through the glass, into her office. He finds Bo sitting her chair, spinning around, and around.

"Say something," Abby begs.

"Jenny should have told me."

"I know."

"We have a son. I have a son."

"I know."

"He's almost eight. I'm never going to be able to get those years back."

"You have to forgive her, at some point."

"How? How can I forgive her? She chose to keep my son away from me. She chose to let Ziva raise him, instead of me. Abby she left me. She left him," he seethes.

"I know."

"Even if I could forgive her, for not telling me, I can never forgive her, for leaving our son."

"She didn't have much choice in the matter," Abby reminds her.

"It didn't have to end like that. She should have fought harder. She shouldn't have died, that day."

"But she did. You can't bring her back. She left this world, for a reason. She had a mission."

"I understand that," his nostrils flare, "but it was the wrong one. What was she thinking? He was four years old. He needed her, and she chose to leave him. She chose her path. She chose the wrong path. She put this job ahead of him. She put solving a case in front of his needs. She laid down her life, and she didn't even think about him."

"Or you."

"I wasn't ready for her to go. There, obviously, were things that we still needed to work out. She knew that she was going to die in that diner. How could she look at that face, and not choose him?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"Neither do I, and I never will. I can't ask her. I can't ask her why she didn't tell me. He can't ask her."

"I can't change any of it. I know you're angry at her, but I can't fix any of that."

"How am I supposed to fix it? If she were still alive I could yell at her, and get it over with, but who do you fix it, when she's dead? I just want to smack her upside the head, and tell her what a stupid choice she made, but I can't, because she's not here."

"No, but he is," Abby points out.

Jethro turns, and looks at the boy, in her office. He stops spinning, and stares back. He smiles, and waves. Jethro motions for him to come out, using his index finger. Bo returns the chair to it's proper place, and comes out of Abby's office.

"Abby call Tony, tell him that this is his case."

"What about you?" she questions.

"Today, I have something more important to do."

"Ok," she nods.

Jethro leaves the lab, and stops at the elevator.

"Come on," he motions for Bo.

Bo joins him. He looks up at him with big bluish green eyes, "Where are we going?"

"Wherever you want."

"Can we stop for coco puffs?"

"If you'd like," he smiles.


	10. Jarhead

He sits on a park bench. Bo sits next to him, eating a single-serving, sized box of coco puffs. Bo breaks the silence.

"I need a haircut."

"Your hair isn't that long."

"I like it short, really short."

"How short are we talking?"

"Jarhead short."

"Jarhead, huh?"

"Yes," he nods.

"Why?"

He shrugs, "That's just the way I like it."

"Your mother let you cut your hair that way?"

"Once, she cried."

"And Ziva?"

"She lets me cut my hair however I want. She lets me wear whatever I want, as long as it's within reason. She doesn't have a lot of rules."

"She doesn't?"

"Rule number one, always be respectful, even to people you don't like. Two, tell the truth, even when a lie would do better. Three, sometimes you have to let go of the past, even if it hurts. That's it. Oh, and don't leave the toilet seat up. That's not really a rule, just an understanding."

"Those are good rules."

"Yes, they are."

"What happens if you break the rules?"

"It depends. If you break rule number one... privileges are all taken away, for a week."

"All privileges?"

"No T.V.. No sweets. No video games, not that I am allowed to play them that much, anyway. No ipod."

"So what do you do?"

"I draw."

"What do you draw?"

"Sometimes people. But mostly boats, and ships. Sometimes I draw planes."

"From other pictures?"

"No," he shakes his head, "She takes me to the museum, a lot."

"She makes you go to the museum?"

"I don't mind."

"Bo?"

"Huh?"

"Do you remember your mom?"

"Not a lot. I remember the day that she cried when I got my hair cut."

_January 5th, 2008_

_She sits in a chair, at a barber shop, near her Georgetown apartment. Bo sits quietly, in the next chair. She stares at him, in awe. She had never met another four year old, who could be as quiet, and still as he could. That he got from his father. She had never been very talented at doing either. He flips through a book._

_She smiles, and her fingers run through his hair. She hated getting his hair cut. It was like he was a little less, of a baby, each time. He wasn't a baby, he was four, but he was her baby. She pets his hair. His red hair is in a bowl cut. It's thick, and perfectly straight. He looks over at her, and smiles._

_"Did you find one that you like?" she questions._

_"Yes," he nods._

_She pulls out her glasses. She puts them on, and looks at the page he has open. She stares at a cute, spiky hair cut. She points to it._

_"That one?" she questions._

_He furrows his brow, and shakes his head. He points to the picture, on the next page, "That one."_

_"That one? Are you sure? Bo, it's so short."_

_"I like it short."_

_"I think that it's too short."_

_"Mommy?"_

_"Huh?"_

_"You know I'm not a little girl, right?"_

_"Yes, I know that."_

_"Boys have short hair."_

_"It doesn't have to be that short."_

_"Mommy, please?"_

_There was no arguing with him. Yes he was stubborn, he had gotten a double dose of that, but that wasn't the reason. She just never could argue with him. He would smile, and bat his long, eye lashes, and she couldn't say no. He knew how to work her over, he always had. _

_She watches at the barber pulls out the clippers. She sticks her head into a magazine, trying not to watch. She hears the chair go down, and she looks up. Bo bounces towards her with a huge smile on his face. He looked like a little man, instead of a baby. He looked like... his father. She can't seem to fight the tears back. He stops in front of her, and looks at her questioningly._

_"Mommy, don't you like it?"_

_"Yes, of course I do," she answers._

_"So why are you crying?"_

_"I'm crying because I'm sad."_

_"About my haircut?"_

_"I'm sad because you're growing up," she admits._

_"I can't be a baby forever," he reminds her._

_"No," she pulls him towards her. Hugging him close to her body. She wipes some of the hair off him, and kisses the side of his face, "but you'll always be my baby."_

He stares at Bo, with a smile. Bo looks back at him, with a big grin.

"So will you take me?"

"Yup."

"You aren't going to cry, are you?"

"No."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"What if one day, I have to wear my hair that way?"

"What do you mean Bo?"

"What if I become a jarhead?"

"You're mother would come back, and haunt me."

He smiles, "Good."


	11. Late Night Talks

She finds herself lying on the couch, wide awake. She should be sleeping. It was eleven o'clock, and she had a very long day. She stares at the door. Finally she hears voices, on the other side. She opens the door, before anyone knocks.

She finds Gibbs, and Bo. Bo looks up at her, sleepily. He smiles, and gives her a big hug. When he lets go he announces, "I'm going to go to bed."

"Ok," she agrees with a smile.

He leaves the room. Gibbs stands in the hallway.

"Do you want to come in?"

"No, I should get going."

"Ok."

"I didn't keep him out too late, did I?"

"It's Saturday night," she reminds him.

"Can I see him, tomorrow?"

"You're his father."

"But you're his legal guardian."

"You should ask him."

"He told me to ask you."

"Why would he do that?"

"He doesn't want to hurt your feelings."

"Hurt my feelings?"

"He thinks that it would hurt your feelings, if he stayed with me. He says that it's your time with him."

"I see. Why don't you see him one night this week, instead?"

"Do you think he would be ok with that?"

"Yeah, but he won't stay the night."

"I got that much."

"He is very set in his ways. He likes to do things a certain way. He gets very upset, if his routine is disrupted."

"I might know a thing or two, about that. Ziva?"

"Yes?"

"How are you doing?"

"I am fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You seem to keep a lot of secrets."

"I am used to it."

"You're raising a child who isn't yours. I am sure that isn't easy."

"No, it is not. I made Jenny a promise."

"He is my responsibility."

She shakes her head, "No. He is my responsibility. I promised Jenny. I would never go back on my promise to her. I wouldn't want to. It has been a challenge, I will admit that. But, I can also admit that it has been rewarding. Having him in my life, has made me see things differently. It has made me realize things that I never would have, otherwise."

"You're doing a good job."

"He tries to make it easy on me."

"I can see that."

"I do feel guilty sometimes. I do not see him enough. I do not get to spend enough time with him. I allow work to interrupt our time together. He counts on me, and I need to make more of an effort. I need to do better. I need to do more for him."

"You can only do so much. You have been doing this on your own, for years. I don't know how you juggled it all."

"He spends most of his time at school. I wish that was not the way it had to be. I wish that he could be a normal kid."

"He's never going to be a normal kid."

"How could he? His mother is dead. I am his legal guardian. He is too smart for his own good. Sometimes I wish that he would be a kid, while he still could. He tries to be grown up."

"I think I should head out."

"You don't have to go."

"I think that someone wants to talk to you," Gibbs points to Bo. Bo stands in the doorway of his bedroom.

She nods. Gibbs heads for the door. He pauses, watching Ziva disappear into the bedroom.

"Are you ready to get tucked in?" she questions.

"I'm too old. I have told you that a million times."

"And I have told you a million times, that you sleep better when you're tucked in. We don't have to have this argument every time. Save us both some trouble, and let me tuck you in."

Gibbs leaves the apartment, with a smirk.

Bo climbs into bed. Ziva tucks him in tightly.

"Do you want to talk?" she inquires.

"No, not really."

"I think that you should."

"You do not lead by a very good example."

"What do you mean?"

"You tell me not to play with guns, but you do. You tell me not to fight people, but you do. You tell me that I should talk, but you don't."

"What do you want me to talk about?"

"Are you going to be upset, if I go to see him?"

"Why would I be upset?"

"Be honest."

"I am not going to be upset, if you want to see him. He is your father."

"Are you afraid that I am going to choose him; that I am going to leave you."

"I don't know, are you?"

He smiles, "No. I'm not going anywhere."

"And how can you be so sure?"

"I don't want to."

"What if you do?"

"Will you let me go?"

"I will."

"You would?"

"I would never want to."

"But?"

"I will always do what I think is best for you."

"What if I don't want to go back to school in the fall?"

"You have to go to school."

"What if I don't want to go to that school?"

"That is up to you."

"Ziva?"

"Huh?"

"Love you."

She smiles. She leans over his bed, and gives him a hug. She kisses the top of his forehead.

"Love you too," she admits.

"You don't have to kiss me. Your kisses are slobbery."

"It's my job."

"Your job?"

"To embarrass you. It is my legal obligation to completely humiliate you in public, especially if it is in front of your friends."

"Night."


	12. Just A Dream

She walks into the room. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table. His elbows rest on the table. His head rests on top of his hands. Colored pencils, and blank pages lay in front of him. He stares straight ahead. She approaches slowly.

"Bo?"

He looks up at her. He shakes his head, as if to shake his thoughts away. "Yeah?"

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"Daydreaming again."

"Yeah," he nods.

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"I've been having crazy dreams lately," he admits.

"About what?"

"Mom."

"What about her?"

"Stuff that doesn't make sense."

"Are you feeling anxious about something?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"What's been bothering you?"

"I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Why would you feel that way?"

"Sometimes I think that I see her. On the street, or in a car, passing by. I know that I'm not, but..."

"You wish that you were?"

"Yeah. I know that she's not coming back, but it doesn't keep me from wishing that she would."

"I know."

"Sometimes I just pretend that she's deep undercover, so she had to fake her own death. No one is going to say anything, if they think that they have seen a ghost. Sometimes I pretend that's the truth."

"But it's not."

"I know."

"Do you have all of your stuff ready to go?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But, what, Bo?"

"I don't think that I want to go."

"Why not?"

"Can't I just stay here?"

"You can," she pulls out a chair, next to him. She sinks into it, "but why do you want to?"

"I just want to stay here, with you."

"Why? What's going on?"

"I'm going back to school in a few days."

"I know."

"And I'll miss you."

"What is this really about?"

"I want to go."

"To Gibbs'?"

"No."

"We can go. Then I can drop you off there, when we're done."

"No. I don't want to go."

"I think you should call him, and talk to him. Tell him what's on your mind, ok?"

"What if he doesn't understand?"

"He will, I promise."

"Ok," he nods.

She grabs her phone, and hands it to him. He takes it into the other room.

Hours later he's at Gibbs' house. She peels the bed clothes off his bed. She tosses them into a pile, on the floor. She reaches for the pillow. She peels off the pillow case. She stops, midway through removing the pillow case. She puts the pillow to her nose, and smells it. She takes a minute to smell it, and then pulls the pillowcase off, and tosses it into the pile. She grabs the next pillow. She sniffs it, too. It smells the same. She peels the pillowcase off. As she puts the linens into the laundry basket she tries to figure out why the smell is so familiar.

When she returns to his room, with clean linens, the scent is still on her mind. She neatly makes the bed. She tosses the pillows onto the bed. She takes a seat on the edge of his bed. She sniffs. She can still smell it. It wasn't just on the pillows. It was somewhere else, too. She walks over to his closet. She opens the door, and encounters another smell. The smell of dirty socks. She collects the three stray socks, and tosses them onto the floor, behind her, outside the closet. She steps into the closet, and begins smelling. She stops when she finds it.

Puzzled, she steps out of the closet. She grabs the dirty socks, and heads for the door. She's almost to the doorway when it hits her. Perfume. It was a perfume. A perfume she recognized. One she had smelled, hundreds of times. One she had made fun of. One she had argued would be too noticeable. It wasn't an argument she had won. She knew whose perfume it was, even if it didn't make any sense.

He watches as his son sands the boat that they are working on. He stands at the workbench, admiring the boy's skills. He smiles. As he watches, he notices the look in Bo's eyes.

"Bo?"

"Huh?"

"What's on your mind, buddy?"

"Nothing."

"You're thinking about your mom?"

"We're going to name her Jenny, aren't we?"

"If you'd like."

"I miss her."

"I know. So do I."

"I just wish that I could have her back, even if it was just for one day."

"I know."

"Then I could tell her all the things that she needs to hear. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you ever wish that?"

"Only every day."

"Do you ever think you see her?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes when I get really tired. Your mind plays tricks on your when you're exhausted."

"Yeah, but sometimes it doesn't make sense."

"What do you mean?"

"When I think I see her, it's like it's now."

"Bo, I'm not sure what you mean."

"It's not like she was, when I last remember her."

"How, so?"

"Her hair is different. Longer. She looks older, more tired."

"Oh."

"You know sometimes I pretend that she faked her own death so that she could go deep undercover. Who is going to say anything, if they think that they saw a ghost?"

"Where did you come up with that idea?"

"I just had a dream about it, one night."


	13. Crazy

He navigates his way through the cemetery, by moonlight. He stops at the exact spot. He wipes some dirt off the stone. He places the flowers on her grave. He shakes his head.

"Jenny, we need to talk. I just don't understand. You left our son. A son you never told me about. If you were here right now, I'd tell you to your face, but I can't. And our son, he is something. A lot like you. He says you come to him in his dreams. It makes me wonder. Are you really lying there, under concrete, six feet, beneath the ground, or are you somewhere else in the world tonight. Would you really make that choice? To leave him, for a mission, so deep undercover that it can only be pulled off, if you're dead. If everyone thinks that you're dead?"

He shakes his head. He stares at the headstone.

"Jenny I never understood you. You never let me. I just wish things had been different. I wish that you had let me in. I wish that I had done things differently. Heaven knows that we made mistakes, but... Jenny we have a son. And I didn't know. Didn't you think that I deserved to know about him?

And making Ziva keep it a secret. That was unfair, to expect her to take her secret to her grave. It was unreasonable to expect her to raise him. Then again, I am sure that she has devoted just as much time to him as you did. Maybe you were a good mother, how the Hell would I know? I never got to see you in action. All I know is you should have put him first, and you didn't. You didn't do the right thing, leaving him. No matter where you are, you should never have left him. He still needs you."

He turns, and walks down the row of headstones. He walks past the Mausoleum, towards his car. He reaches his car, and unlocks the door. He climbs inside, and puts the key in the ignition He turns the car on. As he rolls the window down, he catches a whiff. A familiar scent. Jenny's scent. The smell of perfume, and a born to kill attitude. He brushes off the feeling that makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He reaches for his seatbelt. He pulls it across him, and fastens it. He reaches for he gearshift. He looks in the rearview.

He stares at the reflection, in confusion. He shakes his head, trying to brush it off. He blinks, and rubs his eyes. He refocuses his eyes. What he's seeing doesn't disappear. She stays in his rearview. He turns, and looks at his backseat. He shakes his head.

"No. You can't be here," he insists.

She opens her mouth to speak.

"Listen to me, I need you dead," he eyes cut through her soul, with a look of disappointment.

She doesn't answer.

"I am going to close my eyes. When I open them, I want you to be gone. Understood?"

She nods.

He closes his eyes. When he reopens them he looks in his rearview. He finds that he can't see her. He sighs in relief. He looks over in the seat next to him, and finds her sitting next to him.

"No. Out!" he shouts.

He hears the door slam, and she climbs out. He speeds away, kicking up dirt.

* * *

She hears the footsteps coming towards her room. She slowly opens her eyes. She finds Bo standing in the doorway.

"What's wrong?" she questions, "Bad dream?"

"Can I sleep with you?"

"Bo I think that you are too old to sleep with me, anymore."

"Ziva, please," he begs.

"Bo is something wrong?"

"Just let me sleep with you," he insists as he moves towards the bed.

He reaches for the covers. She shakes her head.

"No, not until you tell me what is going on. What are you upset about?"

"She was in my room."

"Who? Who was in your room."

"She was," is all he says.

"When?"

"Just now," he answers.

Ziva looks at him. She reaches for her gun. She slides out of bed.

"Bo, stay here."

He nods, in agreement. She moves out of the bedroom. She walks into the living room, towards his room. She tiptoes through the living room, in the dark. She reaches Bo's room, and finds his lamp on. She carefully clears the room. She finds it empty. She looks in the closet, under the bed, outside the window. She finds no one. She flips off his light, and heads back to her room.

She finds him sitting on the edge of her bed, waiting. She places her gun back in its place. Bo stares at her, completely petrified. She turns on her lamp. She takes a seat on the bed, next to him.

"What happened?"

"I saw her."

"Who?"

"Jenny."

"Jenny?"

"My mother," he clarifies.

"Bo. It was just a dream."

"I thought so too, but then..." he trails off.

"But then, what?"

"It's not."

"What makes you think that?"

"The window."

"What about the window? It's locked."

"The window hasn't been opened."

"So?"

"Shouldn't it be dusty?"

"Yes."

"I watched her climb out the window. After a few minutes I walked over to the window. She was gone, but the window was unlocked. I looked at it, there's no dust."

"You locked the window?"

"Yes."

"Bo, are you sure?"

"Yes."

"What do you want me to do? Fingerprint it?"

"It won't matter. She wore gloves."

"Bo, are you sure?"

"I know that you think I'm crazy, but I know what I saw."

"I don't think that you're crazy," she reassures him.

"You don't?"

"No," she shakes her head. She confirms this with a hug.


	14. One Thing

She wakes up, before the alarm. She looks at the clock. It tells her that she has managed to get in less than an hour. She rolls over, quietly, trying not to wake Bo, he lies beside her, on top of the cover. His body radiates heat.

"I'm not asleep," he tells her, as he stares up at her ceiling fan.

"Ok."

"Can we get up, now?"

"It's too early to get up," she insists.

"Call him, please," Bo requests.

"You call him. I do not want to be the one who wakes him up."

"Ok, can I have the phone?"

She reaches over to her bedside stand, and grabs the phone. She hands it to him. He dials in the dark. The party on the other end of the line answers after two rings.

"Gibbs," he answers.

"Are you sleeping?" is Bo's first question.

"Bo do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Yes, sir. It's two oh six, a.m."

"Does Ziva know that you're calling?"

"Yes. She's laying right here."

"Right where?"

"I'm in her bed."

"Why are you in her bed, son? Aren't you a little old for that?"

"I got scared."

"Well, I guess I can understand. If anyone can protect you, it's her."

"Do you believe in ghosts?" Bo wonders.

"Bo, why do you ask? What's going on, over there?"

"Mom was here."

"Bo..."

"I know, she's supposed to be dead. I know, but she was here. I know it. I saw her, with my own eyes. I know that it's crazy, but..."

"It's ok, calm down."

"Will you come over?"

"Can I talk to Ziva, please?"

"Yeah," he passes the phone to Ziva. "He wants to talk to you."

She takes the phone from him. She puts it to her ear, "Hello?"

"Are you alright?" is Gibbs first question.

"I am fine."

"And Bo?"

"He's pretty shaken up."

"You think it was a nightmare?"

"No."

"You believe him?"

"Yes," she reveals.

"Do you have any evidence?"

"Yes."

"Ok, Ziva I think that you should bring him over here."

"Now? It's the middle of the night."

"I think that he could be in some serious danger."

"What's going on?" Ziva inquires.

"I don't know, but I fully intend to find out."

"I'll be over, in a few," she promises.

* * *

She and Bo make their way to her car, in their pajamas. She speeds away from the apartment, towards Gibbs house.

Fifteen minutes later, they're on his doorstep. When they reach the door it opens. He ushers them into the house, straight into the basement.

"Bo, can you make sure that I got all the rough spots?" he questions.

"Sure," he nods.

"Ziva," he motions. She follows him back up the stairs, into the laundry room.

"Gibbs," she whispers, when they reach the laundry room, "What is going on?"

"I don't think that he's crazy," he responds.

"Neither do I," she admits.

"I don't like this," Gibbs adds.

"Like what? What is going on?"

"I don't know, exactly."

"But you have a theory?"

"I want it to be wrong, but if anyone has the balls to pull it off, it would be Jenny."

"Pull what off?"

"Fake her own death."

"Wait, you think that she's still alive?"

"What did you think?"

"I don't know," she shrugs, "I guess I just figured that it was a look a like, I don't know how to explain it."

"No. It's her."

"What do you mean, it's her?"

"He's not the only one whose seen her. I've seen her too."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"The other day when I was doing laundry, I went into his closet, and it smelled like her perfume."

"Ziva, this could be bad," he reminds her.

"Because?"

"If Jenny is still alive, then it means that she has gone so deep undercover, that even her own son couldn't know that she was alive."

"A serious mission, that she would have to be dead for."

"Exactly," he nods.

"So why would she slip up?" Ziva questions.

"She has to have a reason."

"You think that she's in trouble?" Ziva assumes.

"Jenny always did have a tendency to get in, over her head."

"So what are we supposed to do?"

"We wait."

"For what?"

"Her to walk in the door."

"And what makes you think that she's going to do that?" Ziva inquires.

"She wouldn't do it, unless she needed our help."

"What are we supposed to do with Bo?"

"Leave him down here. It's the only place that he's safe."

"I can protect myself," he announces.

They look down, at the bottom of the stairs. He stands at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at them. Gibbs glance drifts from his son, to Ziva.

"That true?"

She shrugs, "I have taken him to the shooting range, numerous times."

"Is the any good?"

"He takes after you, doesn't he?" Ziva replies.

"Ok."


	15. Going Through Changes

He and Ziva are sitting in the living room, drinking tea, when they hear the door open. They remain still, as the footsteps approach them. They don't react when the redhead walks into the room. She looks at them, panic stricken.

"We don't have much time," she warns.

"How many?" Is Gibbs only question.

"Eleven," Jenny answers.

Ziva nods. She and Gibbs slide off the couch at the same time. They take a seat on the floor. The motion for Jenny she joins them. The flip the couch over, and brace themselves between a wall, and the couch. Gibbs pulls off the couch cushion. He un-velcros the inside. They pull out weapons. They load their weapons. Ziva spots the crew, outside the house, on the sidewalk. She signals to Gibbs.

The door opens. Several large men enter the house. They make a beeline for the living room. Three fall to the floor, fatally wounded, before the others know what's happening. The other eight begin shooting. After several moments nearly all of them are on the ground, fatally wounded. One remains standing he inches closer. Jenny stands up from behind the couch. She squeezes the trigger, hitting the man between the eyes.

They carefully come out from behind the couch. They check pulses, and cast the weapons aside. They are all too busy securing the crime scene, to notice one of them reach for a weapon. They hear a shot, and they all look up. They look at each other. None of them have been hit. That is when they see, him.

Bo stands near the kitchen, with Gibbs' gun in his hand. He clears the weapon, and places it on the ground. Ziva quickly moves the assailant's weapon away from his newly wounded hand. He takes slow, labored breaths. He begins to choke. Gibbs looks at her. She nods, and she moves towards Bo. She takes him back into the basement.

He says nothing, as they walk down the stairs. He reaches the workbench. Ziva lifts him onto the surface of it. His legs dangle over the side. He looks at her.

"Talk to me," she insists.

"I shot him, in the hand."

"I know."

"That's where I was aiming. I don't..."

"I know," she attempts to quiet him.

"Is she going to stay?" Bo inquires.

"I don't know," Ziva admits.

"I want her to go," Bo tells her.

Ziva looks at him, in surprise. "You want her to go?"

"Yes," he nods.

"Why?"

"I don't want her to stay. I don't want to see her."

"Bo, she's your mother."

"No, not anymore," he argues.

"She is always going to be your mother."

"I don't want her to be. She doesn't deserve it. I want you."

"Bo, you don't mean that."

"Yes I do. I hate her."

"No, you don't."

"Please, make her leave."

"I can't make her leave."

"Why not?"

"Bo..." she tries to reason.

"Don't worry, someone else will come along. Another terrorist, or assassin, and she'll be gone again."

"Bo..."

"No. Don't tell me that she came back for me. That isn't true, and you know it. Don't start lying to me, now. She came back, because she needed help. That is the only reason that she came back."

"You don't know that."

"I know enough," he argues.

"You should talk to her."

"I don't ever want to talk to her. I have nothing to say to her. I just wish that she'd go back to wherever she came from. I have a family, and she's not part of it, not anymore."

"Bo, stop. She's your mother."

"No, she's not. She's not good enough. She's doesn't want to be anyone's mother."

"I..."

"You should go help them," he tells her.

"And what are you going to do?"

He stares at the boat. He smiles, "I've got a lot of sanding to do."

"Bo I think that you should go talk to her."

"No thank you," he hops off the work bench.

She leaves him in the basement, to his sanding. She finds Jenny standing the laundry room. She sits on the dryer, silently.

"How much of that did you hear?" Ziva wonders.

"Most of it."

"I'm sorry. He just isn't ready for this, yet."

She shakes her head, "I made a mistake."

"Yes," Ziva agrees.

"Maybe I should..."

"Leave?" Ziva supplies, "Leave him, again? Make him entirely convinced that he's not worth staying for, that he is not worth fighting for? I think that would be a mistake."

"He doesn't want me here, and I can't blame him."

"He'll get over it," Ziva promises her.

"I don't think so. He's too much like his father."

"Yeah, he is," another voice joins the conversation.

Jenny turns, and looks at Gibbs.

"Ziva, I made some phone calls. McGee, Tim, and Ducky will be here soon."

"I'll take care of it," she nods, excusing herself from the laundry room.

Gibbs stares at Jenny. She waits for him to say something, but he doesn't.

"Jethro, I'm sorry. I..."

He shakes his head, "No. You don't get to say anything. You get to listen. I know that's hard for you, but that's what's going to happen. For once in your life, you are going to listen, without interrupting, do you understand?"

"Yes," she admits.

"Good. What the hell were you thinking? Hiding the fact that I, that we have a son. What possessed you, to think that would be ok? Faking your own death, so that you could go and chase down some thugs? What made you think that doing that would be more important than your own son? Huh? Jen I don't know what goes through your mind sometimes, ever, really. You are so damn selfish. He needed you, and you left him. What kind of a mother does that? Oh, wait, the one who is too busy for her own son. You should have told me. You should have told me what you were doing. I should have heard from you, that I had a son. I have to be honest, when you walked through that door, I considered shooting you, myself. You don't get to be sorry, either. You made the choices. You don't get to be sorry for that," he pauses. She listens intently. She stares at him, waiting for him to continue to lecture her. He takes a step closer to her, "Don't ever do that to me again." She nods.

"I'm not done," he tells her.

She stares at the floor, waiting for him to continue.

"He's not the only one that needs you. You're not the only one who made a mistake. I should have told you, a long time ago," he swallows hard, "I need you, too."

Her eyes flit up, and meet his. She doesn't say a word. Her expression changes. Her face lights up. He wraps his arms around her, hugging her tightly.


	16. Tough Road

The road of ahead of them... is expectedly difficult, right from the beginning. Ziva sits on the end of Gibbs' couch, as Bo lies there. He stares up at the ceiling, wide awake. Jenny walks into the room. She holds a cup of coffee. She smiles, and places it on the coffee table. She looks directly at Ziva.

"I can take it from here."

Ziva doesn't say anything. Bo looks her dead in the eyes, "No. I don't want you. I would like for you to go."

"Bo..." Ziva tries to reason with him.

He shakes his head, "No. She doesn't get to do this," he answers.

"Do what?" Jenny questions.

"This. This is not fair. Go back to wherever you came from. Go back to being dead."

"Bo! I know that you are angry, but that is no way to talk to her," Ziva warns.

"Why not?"

"She's your mother."

"No," he shakes his head. "She gave birth to me, there is a difference, you know."

"No?" Jenny furrows her brow.

"Please, leave."

Jenny bends down, to be at eye level with him.

"I know that you are angry with me, but.."

"There are no buts. There are no excuses. I do not want you in my life."

"Bo..." she begins.

"I don't want to hear it. You had your chance. You could have been my mother, and you chose not to be. You left, not that you were ever really here for me, when you were not dead. I have a mother, and it's not you."

Jenny looks at him, silently, with hurt in her eyes.

"Bo I think that you should take time to cool off," Ziva suggests.

"No. She needs to hear this. You were never around. You left me, for any reason that you could find. I don't want you as my mother."

"Bo, you don't have a choice, I am your mother," Jenny argues.

"No, you're not. Giving birth to me did not make you my mother. You aren't the one who makes sure that I have clean clothes, or that lets me crawl into bed with you, when I'm scared. You are not my mother. I do not want you to be my mother. I want Ziva."

"Bo I am sorry that you feel that way. I am sorry that I have not met your expectations. I made a lot of mistakes. I am here now, and I'm not going anywhere," Jenny promises.

He shakes his head, "You don't get to pick and choose. This isn't a part time job. I am not a part time job. I am supposed to be your kid."

"I love you, and..."

He cuts her off, "That's not enough."

"Jenny," a voice from the kitchen calls.

She looks back at Jethro, he motions for her. She stands up, and heads into the kitchen.

"He's right. You have to respect his feelings. You can hope that they change, but it's up to him. I can't say that I blame him."

"Jethro..." she begins to argue.

"You _don't_ get a choice. It's his choice."

Ziva comes into the kitchen. They meet her glance.

"I am going to take him home, he is very upset," Ziva announces.

"Ok," Gibbs authorizes, before Jenny can argue.

Ziva returns to the living room.

"Come on," she smiles, "It's been a long day, let's go home."

"Home, that sounds good."

The drive home is silent. As Ziva parks the car finally the silence is broken. He looks at Ziva, and begins to speak.

"Are you going to leave me?" he asks, bluntly.

This catches her off guard, she says nothing. She allows time for it to soak in.

"I know that you had no choice before, but..."

"I did have a choice. I had a choice, and I made the wrong one. I hurt you, and I will always regret that. I am not ever going to leave you."

"Why not?"

"You and I have something very special."

"Why is that?" he wonders curiously.

"I was the first person you saw, when you were born. You opened your eyes, and you looked right at me."

"I did?"

"Yes, and then they whisked you off."

"Why are you here?"

"What do you mean?" she furrows her brow.

"Why did you choose me? Why would you choose me, when my own mother wouldn't?"

"Your mother was my friend, when I had none. I guess the only way I could think of to repay her, was to vow to always look after you."

"Why?"

"I have met a lot of people. Good, and bad."

"And?"

"When you were born I realized that even the worst people that I have encountered were once innocent, and that their choices, and circumstances made them whoever they became."

"I don't understand."

"I wanted you to be one of the good guys, and if I decided if I could influence that in any way, that I would do whatever I could to do so."

"You didn't have to. You are not my mother."

"I know."

"So, why?"

"If I could explain it, I would."

"Try."

"One day, I found myself trying to see the world through your eyes."

"And?"

"And I realized that there were a lot of negative circumstances, that could be not changed."

"Wait... I get it."

"You do?"

"You do not want me to be like you. You see part of yourself, in me?"

"Yes," she nods, in confirmation.

"What part?" he questions.

"The look in your eye, when you get angry. You have had that look for a very long time, from a very young age."

"What angry look?"

"When you get mad at someone, when someone hurts you, you quickly decide to hold it against them, forever. In an instant you decide not to give them a second chance."

"I know," he admits, as the tears start to come.

"But sometimes, you have to, no matter how hard it is, and how much it hurts," she replies, on the verge of tears.

"Have you?"

"Yes," she confirms.

"And? How did it work out?"

"I gave someone a second chance, and in return I found the most loyal person, I have ever known."

"DiNozzo."


	17. Taking Time

_A/N: I guess I accidentally posted this as chapter 16. Sorry for the confusion, I added the actual chapter for 16. It should make more sense now. R&R._

* * *

It's a quarter till five. She doesn't have to be up for another fifteen minutes, but she's wide awake. She finds herself staring at the ceiling fan, as it whirs around. She glances at the clock, and contemplates getting up. She's just about to climb out of bed, when she hears the sound of footsteps, coming her way. They stop about twelve feet away.

He stands in the doorway, trying to decide whether she's still asleep, or not. He waits a moment, before making a decision.

"I'm not asleep," she tells him.

"May I come in?" he questions.

"Of course. You know the door is always open," she reminds him.

He steps through the doorway. He takes a left, moving towards the side of the bed, opposite to her. He climbs into the bed. She holds back the covers, for him. He slides underneath. He puts his cold, un-socked feet against her leg.

"This isn't going to be easy, is it?"

"Probably not."

"I don't want her. I ha..."

She cuts him off, "Do not say things that you cannot take back."

"I want you."

"Bo, I am not going anywhere."

"But you can't stop her, if she wants to take me. At least, not legally, right?"

"I will do everything in my power to keep you right here, with me."

"It's where I belong."

"I know, nasikh."

"Why do you always call me that?"

"Because you are."

"I'm not a prince," he argues.

"Why not? You are brave, and..."

He cuts her off, "My parents are not king, and queen."

"I would have to argue with that."

"Why?"

"Because they are the king, and queen, of NCIS."

"I guess, maybe, they could be compared to king, and queen."

"They could."

"But, when the queen abdicated, the king was returned to a mere..."

She cuts him off, "Abdicated, where did you learn that word?"

"School."

"That is a very grown up word."

"I am a very grown up kid."

"Maybe you should try to be a little less grown up."

"What do you suggest?"

"Do you want to play hooky, today?"

"You have to work," he reminds her.

"Not if you don't want me to."

"You never miss work."

"I think that we both need to get away, for a little while, don't you?"

"Where would we go?"

"I don't know, where do you want to go?"

"On a roller coaster," he answers.

"Done," she agrees, "How does Hershey Park sound? I know it's your favorite."

"Done? We'll never make it there..."

She cuts him off, "Go get dressed. We'll eat breakfast in the car, and we can leave in fifteen minutes."

"It's a three hour drive."

She smirks, "Not when I drive."

"Can..."

Before the words are out of his mouth she's tossing him the phone, "You call him."

"Ok," he agrees.

He dials Gibbs. After two rings, he answers.

"Hello?"

"I have a question," Bo starts.

"I have one first, why are you awake this early, in the morning?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Like father, like son. What's on your mind?"

"Ziva's not coming to work, today."

"Oh really? What's wrong with her?"

"We're playing hooky."

"Oh, I see."

"You want to come?" he asks, with excitement, in his voice.

"Where are you going?"

"Hershey park."

"Ziva driving?"

"Yes, unless you want to," Bo responds.

"Ok."

"We'll be there in less than half an hour."

"Ok, buddy, I'll see you then."

"Kay."

"Hey, Bo?"

"Yeah, dad?"

"I love you."

"Love you too," he hangs up the phone.

At this point Ziva is already out of bed, and halfway dressed, in the dark. Bo jumps out of bed, leaving the phone in the middle of it. He runs out of the bedroom, into his own. He flips on the light in his bedroom, and strips. He quickly pulls on the first clean, matching outfit he can find. He pulls on shoes, and socks, and makes a beeline for the bathroom. He washes his face, brushes his hair, and teeth. Ziva meets him at the door.

They make it to Gibbs house in ten minutes. Bo jumps out of the car, and races to his door. He pulls it open, and finds Leroy putting on his shoes. Bo pulls him out of the house, by his hand.

"My shoes aren't tied."

"You can tie them in the car," he argues.

Gibbs climbs into the front seat, next to Ziva. She puts the car into drive, and pulls away from the curb before he can even get his seatbelt on. He finally fastens the belt, and looks back in the backseat. He sees that Bo already has his on.

"What prompted this?" Gibbs wonders, looking in Ziva's direction.

"We needed an emergency vacation day," Bo answers.

"Oh, really?"

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"How can I make her go away?"

"You can't."

"But I want to. How can I make her understand that I don't need her. I don't want her around."

"Give it time," Gibbs suggests.


	18. Time After Time

He's sound asleep, on the couch, when she comes in. Gibbs closes the door behind her. She hands him her coat. She enters the living room. She stops, next to the couch, and squats next to it. She kisses the sleeping boy's cheek.

"Bo?" she whispers.

He opens his eyes, expecting to see one face, but finds another instead. He frowns at her, and rolls onto his side, to get away from her.

"Bo?"

"Go away," he tells her.

"I know that it's late, but I thought..."

He rolls over, to face her. He glares at her, and cuts her off, "Whatever you thought, you thought wrong. Leave me alone."

"Bo I have been back for over a week, and I just want to spend some time with you."

"In the middle of the night?" he raises his eyebrow.

Gibbs watches, from the end of the couch, but says nothing.

"I had some business to take care of," she justifies.

"I have school in the morning, you can come back later," he growls.

Gibbs clears his throat, "He's right Jenny. He has school early in the morning. I promised Ziva I would get him there, on time. You should go."

"Jethro, he is my son," she argues.

Gibbs contemplates whether or not to argue. Before he can reach a decision, Bo chimes in.

"No, I am not."

"Bo, I am your mother."

"Jenny you should go," Gibbs warns.

"You're not my mother. I hate you, please just leave. I don't want you to be here. You're dead to me."

Gibbs clenches his jaw, offering Jenny a hand, up, "You need to go."

"I..."

"Now," he escorts her into the other room.

He gives her coat back to her.

"I am his mother, and I want to see him. I have already missed so much of his life. I don't want to miss anymore of it."

"Jenny, that isn't the way that he sees it."

"And how do you see it?"

"It is going to take time," Jethro reminds her.

"How much time?"

"You walked out on him, I think that he deserves as much time as he needs, to deal with that. He doesn't see you as his mother, anymore. I know that is hard for you to accept, but it is the truth. You are the one who made the choice to leave. It is on you that he feels the way he does. Jenny, he barely remembers you. To him, Ziva is his mother. If you want to step back into that role, you're going to have to be patient. You are going to have to earn that title."

"And what if I can't?" she questions.

He shrugs, "I can't tell you that."

"You think that I made a mistake coming back, don't you?"

His lips draw into a line, he exhales, "I think that you made a lot of mistakes. You made a mistake by leaving. You made a mistake, by not telling me."

"I am sorry."

"Jenny, we are way past sorry, here. Besides, I am not the one you need to apologize to. I am adult, and I can get over it."

"What if he never wants me?" she asks, expecting Gibbs to tell her she's being unreasonable.

"You should have thought about that, before you left," he points out, with no mercy.

"You're rather unsympathetic, as of late."

"Jenny, I am not sympathetic to you. I have a son, that you never told me about. You left him. I don't know how to be sympathetic to that."

"You of all people should understand," she argues.

"Understand, what, exactly?"

"Having to leave, for your job."

He shakes his head, "No."

"You never knew if you were coming back."

He nods, "And they _always_ knew that, upfront. I regret leaving them, every single day of my life. You should have learned, from my mistakes."

"What do I do?"

"Keep trying."

"How do I fix it?"

"Maybe you should start, by fixing yourself."

Her nostrils flare, in anger, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Change your attitude. You don't deserve love, and respect from him, just because you gave birth to him. You lost all of that, when you walked away from him."

"I didn't have a choice," her voice raises.

"You always have a choice."

"I don't want to talk about this, anymore."

"If discussing your mistakes makes you uncomfortable, then you shouldn't come back."

"Excuse me?"

"He is going to want answers, if you can't give them to him, then maybe you shouldn't come back."

"He's my son," she argues.

"You can't jerk him around. He's a kid. You can't come back, after being gone most of his life, and just expect to pick up, where you left off. How is he supposed to know that you're here to stay? How do you know, that given the chance, you're not just going to leave again?"

"We should talk about this later, clearly you're angry."

He nods, "Yeah, and I have every damn right to be."

She turns, and walks out the door. She slams it, behind her. He flips off the light, and returns to the living room. He finds that Bo is no longer on the couch. His blanket is missing, too.

"Bo?" he calls out. He gets no answer.

He climbs the stairs, to Bo's bedroom. He pushes the door open, and flips on his light. The bed remains made. The drab white walls, match the plain grey comforter, on the twin bed. The bed is maple, and there is a matching nightstand. Across the room there is a dresser, and a mirror, too. Gibbs flips off the light, and closes the door. He wanders down the stairs. He pauses in the living room, for a moment.

He descends the stairs, turning on the light, on his way. When he reaches the bottom, he finds Bo sleeping, in the unfinished boat.

"Bo, come on buddy, go to bed."

"No. I just want to float away."

"How about tonight, you sleep in your bed, and tomorrow night you can sleep in the boat?"

"No."

"You can't sleep in the boat, it's not safe."

"I don't want to sleep in my bed."

"You can sleep on the couch."

"You sleep on the couch."

"I'll sleep on the floor."

"You can sleep in my room. Why don't you sleep in your room?"

"Too many memories."

"So sleep in the boat with me."

"Come on, you can have the couch."

"Can I really sleep in the boat, tomorrow?"

Gibbs looks at the boat, and nods, "Yeah, I'll figure something out."


	19. Disgrace

When she picks him up from school, he's silent. He climbs into the backseat of the car, and buckles his seatbelt.

"How was your day, at school?" she questions.

"Fine," he huffs.

He doesn't elaborate. As she pulls away from the curb, he remains silent. She briefly glances at him, in the mirror. He wears a frown on his face. She returns her focus to the road.

"Bo, how was your night, with Gibbs?"

"I thought I was going to his house, tonight," he replies.

"He asked if we could trade tonight for tomorrow night."

"Why?"

"Something about, wood chisels, or something," she tells him.

"Oh."

"Why are you being so mopey?"

"_She_ came over last night," he admits.

"She? As in, your mother?" Ziva queries.

"She is not my mother," he argues.

"She gave birth to you," Ziva adds.

"What's your point?"

"Bo, talk to me."

"You hate talking."

"Not to you," she reminds him.

"I don't want her. I want her to back to wherever she came from."

"I don't think that is going to happen."

"Then maybe she'll get hit by a bus."

"Bo! That is a terrible thing to say."

"She is dead to me."

Ziva whips through two lanes of traffic. She turns onto a side street. She pulls over, into the first parking place she can find. She puts the car in park, and looks at him.

"I don't ever want to hear you say that, again. Do you understand me?"

"Why are you so angry?" he stares into her dark, eyes that are filled with rage.

"Bo when someone dies, you don't get them back. I don't ever want you to take that for granted, do you understand me?"

"When you're Jenny Shepard you fake your death, and you convince everyone that you're dead for years."

"Bo, she had her reasons."

"And even you know, that they weren't good enough."

"Bo, I'm sorry."

"Can we just run away? Please?"

"No, Bo, we can't."

"For my birthday?"

"Your birthday is in nine days. I don't think so."

"Will you kill her for me?"

"Bo, my mother, and my sister died. I can never get them back. I miss them every day. I wish I could have just one more day with them."

"My mother was already dead. I didn't want her back. You're my mother."

"Bo..."

"Please don't make me see her."

Ziva has left an hour earlier. DiNozzo sits at his desk doing paperwork. He hears feet, and sees a group of people leaving MTAC. He sees SECNAV among the group. He, and several others head for the elevator. One person stands out. As Vance escorts SECNAV to the elevator, a redhead follows behind him. She slows down, as she comes towards Tony.

"Hi, Jenny," he waves, and then returns to his paperwork. After a few seconds he looks up. He finds the redhead standing in front of his desk. She raises an eyebrow.

"What are you doing here so late, Tony?"

"Finishing up some paperwork, ma'am." He finds himself unable to take his eyes off of her.

"I see."

He looks around the room, "Can someone pinch me? I'm having a bad dream," he calls out. Director Vance moves towards him. He stops next to Jenny.

"This is not a dream," Leon reveals.

"Then it must be a nightmare, because," DiNozzo points at Jenny, "She's dead, and she had been, for three years."

"I am afraid not," he reveals.

"I don't understand."

"It's need to know," Jenny tells him.

"So, what does this mean?" DiNozzo questions.

"I will be transferring to the newly opened NCIS agency in Florida, as the director. It was a mutual agreement. My family needs a change, and Jenny would prefer to stay here."

"So, she is going to return to her role as the director of NCIS? Isn't that a conflict of interest?" Tony wonders.

"The SECNAV doesn't seem to think so," he turns, to leave.

Tony stares at Jenny, in disbelief.

"You have some nerve. You know that?"

"You're angry, at me?"

"You died, three years ago," he reminds her.

"It wasn't what it seemed."

"After you left Ziva was returned to Mossad. Do you have any idea the things that happened to her, when she was in Somalia?"

"That was not my fault."

"And," DiNozzoa adds, "you have a son. A son who you abandoned."

"Now is not the time to talk about this. We can talk about it later, at a more appropriate location."

"Whatever," he gets up from his desk, and grabs his bag. He brushes past her, on the way to the elevator.

"Where are you going?"

"To get away from you," he responds, in disgust. She follows him to the elevator. The doors open. She attempts to follow him.

"Don't follow me," he warns.

"Tony..." she tries to reason.

"Best of luck telling Abby, by the way. I hope that she is understanding."

"I..."

He holds the elevator door. "Do you have any idea what your death did to our agency, to my team? I am sorry, but I have lost all respect for you. I don't care if you conquered the world, and achieved world peace. You are a disgrace to this agency." He moves his hand, and the door to the elevator closes. She stand there, dumbfounded.


	20. Not Yours

She sits in the study, of her new Georgetown digs. She stares at the glass, in front of her. She swallows the bourbon, and pushes the chair, out from the desk. She leaves the room. The rest of the home, is furnished. The walls have paintings, and decorations. She makes her way to the stairs. She slowly climbs the staircase. When she reaches the top she takes a right. She wonders down the hallway. She stops, at the end. She crosses the hall. She pushes the door open, and flips on the light. She makes her way over to the twin sized bed, and she has a seat.

She looks around the room. The walls are blue. The room is filled with mahogany furniture. The bedding is blue checkers. Everything in the room looks expensive, from the antique mirror, hanging above the dresser, to the solid wood toy chest, at the foot of the bed. The toy chest is filled with toys. The drawers, and closet, are filled with clothes. There is a lamp, to the right of the bed, on the night stand. On the far wall, are windows. The dark blue, room darkening curtains are pulled.

She looks around the room. It's perfect. And empty. The whole house is filled with things. Each room looks like a page from a magazine. But the house is empty, and quiet. It's too quiet. She stares at the pillow, on the bed that she's sitting on. A bed, that has never been slept in. A room, that has never been used. An empty silence that fills her home, and an aching emptiness that fills her.

* * *

Across town, it's a different scene. The boy comes into the house, with a smile on his face. He lets the door slam, behind him. He tosses his things on the floor. He runs into the kitchen, and finds dinner on the stove. He hears footsteps, coming from the stairs, in the basement. The figure appears in the doorway, and proceeds to the kitchen.

"How was your day?"

"I want to talk to you," he answers.

"Ok, Bo, what's up?"

"I don't want to go to school, year round, anymore. I hate it. I just want to go to normal school, and be a normal kid."

"Bo, I hate to break it to you, but you're never gonna be a normal kid."

"Can I change schools, or not?"

"You need to talk to Ziva, about that."

"My birthday is in eight days, and I don't want to be in school, on my birthday."

"Ok," he agrees.

"So I can change schools?"

"I told you, we'll have to talk to Ziva."

"Ok. I didn't know you could cook."

"What do you mean? I cook for you, all the time."

"On the grill, that's different."

"Ok, I'll give you that."

"So, what's for dinner?"

"It's a secret."

"Mac and cheese?"

"You don't like that stuff, do you?" he teases.

"I'm starving."

"Then you don't want to see your surprise."

"What surprise?"

"You know, it can wait, until your birthday."

"No, please."

Gibbs turns the burner on low. He smiles. He motions, as he leaves the room, "Come on, partner."

Bo follows him to the stairs. Gibbs leads him up the stairs, to his bedroom. He stops, at the door. Bo looks at him, in anticipation.

"Well?"

Gibbs smiles. He takes a step back, "See for yourself."

Bo opens the door, and flips on the light. The instant he sees the transformation his face lights up. His bed sits in a boat. There is a life preserver, with a mirror inside of it, above his dresser. Behind his bed, there is a large anchor, painted on the wall. To the side of the room, underneath the windows, is a chest. Anchored to the lid are a pair of wooden paddles. On the front of the chest there is a painted anchor.

He makes his way to the closet. He pulls the door open. He finds half the closet is full of clothes. There is a divider in the middle of the closet. The right hand side has fishing poles, and a tackle box. He comes out of the closet, and runs over to Jethro. He throws his arms around him, and squeezes him tight.

"You like it?" Gibbs questions.

"Like it? I love it."

Gibbs lifts him off the floor, and tosses him onto the bed.

"The new bed is good?" he questions.

"Better than good. This is awesome."

"So I did a good job?"

"Did you make all of this stuff?"

"Yup," Gibbs nods, taking a seat next to Bo, on the bed.

"Dad?"

"Hm?"

"Now how are you going to get me to leave?"

"My cooking isn't that great," Gibbs offers.

They're interrupted by a knock, at the door. Gibbs looks at Bo. Bo shrugs.

"It's your house, I didn't invite anyone."

"I'll get it," Gibbs leaves the room.

He jaunts down the stairs, to the door. He pulls the door open, and finds a familiar face. He shakes his head.

"What are you doing here?"

"You know what I'm doing here," she replies.

"Leaving," he answers.

"I am not leaving, until I see him."

"Today is my day with him. You're not going to ruin it. Jenny, you need to go home."

"He is my son."

"Yeah, well, he's my son too. Jenny, I'm not going to do this. He's happy. Just leave him alone. If you want to see him, then you need to arrange that with Ziva."

"She won't answer my calls."

"I don't blame her, do you?"

"What am I supposed to do? Do you want me to go to court?"

"Jenny, no judge in this town is going to be able to help you. If Bo says he doesn't want to see you, Ziva, and I are going to respect his wishes."

"He's a seven year old boy."

"It's not going to happen. He will see you, when he's ready, and not until then."

"Jethro..." she begins.

"I don't want to hear it," he warns.

Bo pushes past him. He stops, in front of Jenny. He shakes his head.

"Why can't you understand? I don't want you. Go away."

"I am your mother."

"You gave birth to me, there is a difference," he argues.

"Bo, please," she begs.

"Stop ruining my life. Just go away. I don't want to see you. I have parents, and you're not one of them."

She swallows hard. She turns, and leaves, without another word.


	21. Life

She sits in her study, drinking bourbon, on her own. She wonders how she let her life get so off course. She dreads going to work in the morning, to a job that she used to love. The knot, in the pit of her stomach reminds her that something in her life is missing. She empties the glass. She looks up, and finds someone standing on the other side of her desk. He stands there, in silence.

"What are you doing here?" she wonders.

He says nothing, taking a seat.

"I know that you're angry at me," she admits.

He shakes his head, "I am more than angry with you. Jenny, I'm furious."

"I know that I have made a lot of mistakes, but..."

He cuts her off, "Nobody is going to get over them, over night."

"I just want my life to go back to normal."

"As far as I am concerned it was never normal. You hid the fact that you had a son, from everyone, including me. He's my son."

"Jethro, I am sorry."

"Sorry is not good enough."

"I want my son."

"That's funny, because you didn't want him, before."

"That is not true."

"You walked away from him. He was barely old enough to remember you. Jenny, sometimes I don't know what you're thinking."

"I have always wanted him. I didn't have a choice."

"You always have a choice. Just like you had the choice not to go to Egypt. The fact that he survived that trip is a miracle."

"I didn't think anything would happen to him."

"You didn't think, period."

"I never intended to put him in harm's way. I was just doing my job."

"You were chasing down terrorists, and you didn't think you would be putting your unborn child in harm's way? Come on."

"It was a mistake. I understand that, now."

"A mistake? It was more than that. It almost cost him his life."

"I am always going to feel guilty for that, just like I am always going to feel guilty that I left him."

"Good, you should."

"Jethro, that isn't fair."

"You are the one that created this situation," he reminds her.

"I know."

"You are the one who let your job get in the way."

"I know that."

"And, I don't know if he's ever going to forgive you for that. I can't really same that I would blame him, if he didn't."

"If you could just talk to him."

"I have talked to him. He doesn't want you in his life."

"He doesn't know what he wants."

"Yes he does. He knows more about what he wants out of life, than you ever have."

"Where is he, now?"

"He's at home."

"You're here, you left him, home, alone?"

"At his other home."

"This is his other home," she argues.

"No, it's not. He doesn't call this home, just like he doesn't call you mom."

"Jethro, that is a low blow."

"It's the truth. Ziva is his mother. She has fought for him, when you wouldn't. If not for her, that little boy wouldn't be here. He knows that."

"I know that he's angry at me, but if I could just see him," she begins.

"No. Just stop. Stop trying to see him. Stop interrupting his life. Leave him alone. That is what he wants, and he has made that very clear. If, one day, he changes his mind, he'll come to you."

"What if he doesn't?"

Gibbs shrugs, "The damage is already done, Jenny."

"I am going back to work, tomorrow."

"I wouldn't expect a much better reception there."

"DiNozzo has already voiced his disdain for me."

"Have you spoken to Abby, yet?"

"No, why?"

"If you think DiNozzo has disdain for you, wait until you tell Abby what you've done."

"You act as if I am a criminal," Jenny replies.

"You did abandon your child," he confronts her.

"I didn't abandon him."

"Then what would you call it?"

"I left him, with Ziva."

"Did she know that you were still alive?"

"No."

"Then you abandoned him. She took on a responsibility, that wasn't hers to take."

"What do you want me to say?"

He shakes his head, "Jenny there isn't anything you _can_ say."

"I want to see my son. If I have to go through other channels to do it..."

He cuts her off, "Go ahead, but I can guarantee you, nobody is going to let you see him."

"I know people."

"Jenny, you've burned all of your bridges."

* * *

She creeps into his room. His nightlight, is still plugged into the outlet. She takes a seat, on the bed, next to him, as he sleeps. She sits in silence, just watching him sleep. He sleeps soundly, now, more soundly that the past weeks. His breathing is even. She takes a sigh of relief, knowing he's having sweet dreams. He faces the wall. His covers are tucked under his arms. He rolls towards her, and opens his eyes. She smiles at him.

"Go back to sleep," she tells him.

"You're not going to make me go with her, are you?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"I don't even like her."

"I know that. Bo, I know that this is hard, and I know she made terrible decision. I know that it is difficult for you to understand."

"But?"

"Everyone one deserves a second chance," Ziva explains.

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yes."

"She's never going to be my mother," he insists.

"Sometimes you have to be the bigger person, even when you're smaller," she smiles.

"But it's hard."

"I know, sweet boy," she kisses his forehead.

He rolls back over, and closes his eyes.

"I might get to know her, but you're my Ima."

Her heart nearly melts. It takes all of her strength not to break down, and cry. She covers him up, and leaves the room. She stops in the doorway, for a moment, and takes one last look at him. She closes the door, until there is only a crack left open. She retreats to her room, thinking to herself.


	22. Detached

She stares at a boy, who hangs upside down on the monkey bars. Another kid nearby swings. There are kids all over the park. Jenny sits on the park bench envious of mother's with the toddler's. She is jealous of all of the mothers there. Each of them has their child with them. She can remember the first time she came here, Bo was barely walking, and the first thing he wanted to do was go down the slide. He was fearless, from the day that he was born. She didn't know how much she could love someone until she met him. And, it seemed no matter how much she loved him it was never enough. She could see, even from a very early age, when he hugged Ziva he felt safe with her.

* * *

_August 23 2006-_

_She wakes up, in the middle of the night. She rolls over, and looks at the clock. It's just after three in the morning. She groggily climbs out of bed, and leaves the room. She goes down the hallway, to her son's room. She pushes the door open. The room is illuminated by his nightlight. She approaches his bed, and flips on the light. She finds him sitting in bed, wide awake._

_"Bo what are you doing up?"_

_"I had a bad dream," he answers._

_"I'm here now, it's ok," she reassures him, as she takes a seat on his bed. She reaches over, and hugs him. He pushes her away._

_"In the dream there was a man in my closet," he adds._

_Jenny gets off the bed, and goes over to the closet. She pushes the closet door open, and flips on the light inside. She shows him that there is no one inside. She returns to the bed after flipping the light off, and closing the closet door. _

_"See there is nothing to worry about."_

_"I want Ziva," he tells her._

_"Ziva is sleeping."_

_"Call her."_

_"Bo I am right here. I will protect you from anyone who tries to hurt you."_

* * *

She reminds herself it isn't true. She had promised she would protect him, but she had failed to do so in so many ways. She hurt him by walking away. She made the wrong choices. She became obsessed, and couldn't see what she was doing to her child. She had never kept her promises to him. It is no wonder he didn't trust her. She can see why he wants nothing to do with her.

* * *

_July 30th 2003- Jenny is still not allowed to see her newborn baby, due to the fact that she required a transfusion, and she is still too weak to get out of bed. Ziva finds herself in the NICU. She meticulously washes her hands, and puts on a gown. She finds her way to the tiny baby's isolet. She places her hand on the side of the fiberglass. She stares at the tiny infant inside, and it's as if her heart of stone melts. She looks at the infant, and she understands why people do it. A nurse approaches her. She speaks to her in the local language. Ziva responds to her in the same tongue. _

_The nurse lifts the baby out of the isolet, as he begins to cry. She instructs Ziva to take a seat. She then places the baby on Ziva's chest. Ziva stares at the tiny infant, in silence. He looks so fragile. He stops crying as he listens to the sound of her heart beating. His tiny ear is pressed up against her chest wall. He listens intently. _

_"Hi little guy," she has a hard time understanding the emotions that she's feeling. She doesn't want kids, and this one isn't hers. His eyes flutter closed, as she talks to him. _

* * *

She awakens to the sound of the garbage truck, outside the apartment building. She looks at the clock, it tells her that it's too early to get up for the day. She slides out of bed, and tiptoes into the other bedroom. She pushes the door open, and goes over to the bed, which is pushed against the wall. She sits on the edge of the bed. She kisses Bo's forehead as he sleeps. She exhales, reassured that he's alright. His fingers wrap around her hand.

"Don't go," he insists in a small voice.

She returns to her seat on the bed, "It's really early go back to sleep."

"I had a bad dream. The same one, again. Please just stay in here until I fall asleep."

"Bo I think that your father and I have made it very clear that you have nothing to worry about. No one is going to take you from us."

"You can't stop her from trying."

"Close your eyes, and go to sleep," she insists in a soft, soothing voice. Eventually he falls back to sleep.

* * *

When she gets off work that night, she drops him off to Gibbs. Bo goes up to his room, to put his stuff in his room. She stands in the living room, with Gibbs.

"You look tired," he comments.

"The garbage truck woke me up this morning."

"You could have gone back to sleep."

"Bo had a bad dream."

"Another one?"

"He's been having them almost every night since she came back."

"I know."

"What are we supposed to do?"

"Fight for him."

"What if that isn't enough?" she questions.

"It has to be."

"She wants him back," Ziva reminds him.

"She can't just waltz back into his life whenever it's convenient for her. It isn't what is best for Bo."

"I agree, but it's too late. She has already done damage."

"I know."

"Maybe we should let him talk to her."

"What makes you think that would help?" Gibbs questions.

"If she understood his perspective maybe she would stop."

He shakes his head, "It's all about her. She needs something to help her image."

"What do you mean?" Ziva raises an eyebrow.

"Unlike the two of us, she actually cares what people think of her. She has lost a lot of friends, and contacts since she has resurfaced. She lost a lot of respect, from a lot of people."

"And most of those people have no idea that she has a son."

"I know. She wants them to find out. She wants them to think she is mother of the year."

"He doesn't want her in his life," Ziva points out.

"Why is he so detached? I know she left him, but I feel like he has almost no connection with her."

"She didn't get to hold him until he was a week old. I was the first person to hold him."

"So, it's kind of like with a duck, the first person he saw was the one he identified as his mother?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. I just know we have to figure something out. He's barely slept in months."

"What about you, are you getting any sleep?"

"You know that I am a light sleeper. Every time he rolls over I wake up."


	23. Gestures

She rolls over, in the night. She wakes up when she hears footsteps. She opens her eyes, and without a second thought she grabs her gun. She cocks it, and climbs out of bed. She silently glides across the floor, she doesn't stop, even when she reaches her bedroom door. She doesn't stop until she reaches Bo's room. She walks through the open door. The room is dark, but she can see a figure sitting on the edge of the bed. She doesn't hesitate. She presses the barrel of her gun to the back of the intruder's head. She doesn't allow them to say anything. She leans forward, with her mouth close to the intruder's ear.

"Out, now," she whispers.

The intruder swallows hard, and rises from the bed. She exits the room. Ziva follows her with the gun still pointed at her. They exit the room, and Ziva quietly pulls the door closed behind her. She reaches forward, and turns on a lamp. She points to the couch with her gun.

"Sit," she demands.

She takes a seat on the couch, and looks at Ziva in complete disbelief. She stares at the barrel of Ziva's sig sauer.

"Is that really necessary?"

"When someone breaks into my home? Yes, it is necessary."

"Listen, Ziva you have to understand."

"Jenny," she sighs, in frustration, "I do understand, but it doesn't make it ok."

"He is my son."

"I do not think that we need to have this conversation, again."

"I have given him time, and space. I have tried to stay away, but he is my son."

"You tried to stay away? Jenny you faked your own death. You walked out of his life, for years. You can't just expect him to get over it in a couple of months."

"Ziva, please."

"I am not the one that you need to ask."

"I can't get anywhere with Gibbs."

Ziva shakes her head, "You are never going to get it."

"Get what?"

"Gibbs and I are trying to protect Bo, but we are not the people you need to talk to. You to talk to Bo."

"No one will let me talk to him."

"When he is ready he will let you know."

"He's my son."

"Jenny it is going to take him a very long time to forgive you. In fact, he may never forgive you. He is a very understanding, compassionate, intelligent kid, but he doesn't want you in his life. He doesn't want you here."

"You are letting him push me away, because you want to be his mother."

"I am not letting him do anything. He has never done anything that he didn't want to. You are right, I do want to be his mother. At least then he would have some sense of stability. He needs a mother, and heaven knows that you certainly are not going to step up to the plate."

"That is a low blow," Jenny points out.

"That is the truth."

"Ziva," she tries to reason with Ziva.

Ziva cuts her off, "Jenny you should go home."

"I have learned that I can never go home."

"That isn't my fault, and it certainly isn't Bo's. You are the one who made the choices that you did. Now you are the one who has to deal with the consequences. You should have considered them before you made your bed."

"I didn't know that I would be gone so long."

"You should have considered the possibility that you may have never come back. Then you should have carefully thought about what that would mean for your son."

"I know."

"You never think about him. You never put him first. You never have," Ziva argues.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You didn't tell Gibbs that he even existed."

"I had my reasons."

"Fine," Ziva nods, "but beyond that you went on a mission knowing that you could be putting your unborn child's life in danger. You didn't have any regard for his life. He almost died out there in the desert. Your entire life you have cared only about yourself. You carefully planned your career moves. You chose to climb the ladder by any means necessary, even if that meant sacrificing someone else."

"Ziva you would have done the same thing."

"What are you talking about?"

"If you had the chance to go on that mission. If you had been in the same position that I was, you would have gone. Justice means everything to you."

Ziva shakes her head, "I am not that cold."

"Ziva, I..."

She cuts Jenny off, again, "And family means everything to me. For a very long time I didn't have that. If I had been in your shoes, I never would have gone. I would never put my innocent, unborn child in danger, just to climb another rung on the career ladder. Your ambition, and self-righteousness are your two biggest flaws."

"I have made a lot of mistakes, I can admit that."

"You have made more than you care to admit."

"Every night I go home to an empty house, with a room for my son, and he isn't there. I don't sleep, ever. My son is across town, in his bed, but he's not with me. He's with you, and you aren't his mother. He prefers you. He prefers the father that he just met. When I was away, he was half a world away from me, and the thought of that was almost unbearable."

"Don't try to convince me that you feel remorse, because I know that you don't."

"Ziva what is it that you want me to say?"

"For once in your life just be honest. Stop worrying about what is politically correct. Don't think about how something might sound, or what people might think. For once in your life just say what you're feeling."

"You don't do feelings well either."

"I have never been as cold as you," Ziva answers.

"Why does my son prefer you, and Jethro to me?"

"Where should I even start?"

"Somewhere."

"He knows that we are never going to leave him. He knows that he is everything to us. He knows that we are always going to tell him the truth. Most of all he has never, for even one second doubted that either one of us loves him."

"I love him, he is my son. He is my flesh and blood."

"Then you need to prove that to him. You are going to have to earn his trust."

"How? He won't even talk to me."

"Then make a gesture. It doesn't have to be grand. Just do something that means something. Do something that says something. Sometimes actions speak louder than words."


	24. Bribery

Jethro stands in front of the stovetop. He flips pancakes with a spatula. It's Saturday morning, and murder has yet to interrupt his day with his son. Jethro hears footsteps running towards him.

"Morning champ," he smiles at the already dressed boy.

"Are we going somewhere this morning?"

"I hadn't planned on it, why?"

"Why not?" he frowns.

"Where did you want to go?"

"Sailing."

"Sailing? Bo the boat isn't finished yet."

"Dad there is a sailboat in the driveway."

"Bo that is wishful thinking."

"No, for real, there is a sailboat in the driveway."

"Since when?"

"When I woke up last night, I saw it out my window."

"Bo I didn't buy a sailboat."

"Well someone did, and they parked it in the driveway."

Gibbs turns off the burner, and places the pancakes on the table on a plate. Bo grabs his hand.

"Come on," the young lad insists.

"Bo eat your breakfast first."

"Please. I know you don't believe me, but I swear it's there."

"Bo you have a wild imagination."

"Let me show you."

Finally he gives in. He follows Bo out the door, to the driveway. He stands at the edge of the yard, scratching his head, as his son smiles widely.

"I told you," Bo gloats.

Jethro stares at the boat in confusion. It isn't a pontoon, or row boat, or even speed boat. A sail boat sits on a trailer, in his driveway. Bo picks up on Jethro's reaction.

"You really didn't know?" Bo questions.

"No," Jethro shakes his head.

"Where did it come from?"

"I can only think of one person who would buy you a sailboat."

Bo furrows his brow, "Other than you?"

"Your mother."

Bo's smile quickly turns into a frown, "She's trying to bribe me with a sailboat?"

"I didn't say that."

"Do you think she's in the sailboat?"

"Does it matter?"

"I don't want to see her," he insists.

"And if she's not."

"We should go sailing."

"Even if she's trying to bribe you?"

"I still don't have to see her."

Jethro smirks at him, "You're smart kid."

"I take after you."-

* * *

Tony looks over at Ziva. She sits across the bullpen from him, at her desk. She wears a sullen look.

"Ziva why so sad?"

"I am fine," she insists as she types.

"You are sad our fearless leader isn't here, and I get to be the boss this weekend?"

"Someone had to be murdered in order for us to get called in," she reminds him.

"Don't be such a buzz-kill."

From his desk, McGee interjects, "I don't think it's you being in charge, or even Gibbs not being here."

"What do you mean?" Tony questions.

"She is probably bummed because Bo is on a sailboat all weekend long without her, and," he pauses for dramatic effect, "she is stuck here with you all weekend."

"That can't be it."

"Why not?" Tim responds to McGee's question.

"Because that would imply Ziva has feelings."

He instantly regrets this statement, when a box of paperclips hits him in the head.

* * *

Bo reels in his third fish of the day. Jethro smiles proudly.

"Hey dad do you have your phone?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Take a picture."

Gibbs looks at his phone, "This thing takes pictures?"

"Just hit the button on the side."

"Why do you want a picture for?"

"This is the biggest one I've ever caught," he explains.

"Oh," Gibbs snaps a picture.

"Switch me. If you unhook him, I'll send this to Ima."

"Send it?"

"In a text message."

"Oh."

"You really are behind on technology aren't you?"

"I like simple things," Jethro explains, as he unhooks the fish.

The boat bobs up, and down in the water. The boat is anchored, and it floats as the fish.

"Bo you know this was a nice gesture that Jenny made."

"So?"

"Maybe you should make one too," Gibbs suggests.

"I still don't want to see her."

"I didn't say that you had to."

"What kind of nice gesture are you thinking?""Maybe you could send her that picture, too."

"I don't know that she deserves it."

Jethro squats down next to the boy. "Bo sometimes you have to be kind to people when they don't deserve it."

"Why?"

"It's called being the bigger man."

"Maybe I don't want to be the bigger man."

"It's about having integrity. You don't have to see her, or even speak to her. I know that she has done things that hurt you."

"Why should I be nice to her?"

"Someone should be," he suggests.

"Why should it be me?"

"Because you mean the most to her, even if she has trouble showing you that."

"It's just a picture," Bo adds.

"I think it would be a nice gesture."

"Ok," Bo agrees.


	25. Can't Buy Me Love

She moves towards the door. The doorbell sounds again. She pulls the door open. She looks down, and finds a familiar face staring up at her. She stares at him in disbelief.

"Bo what are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you," he admits.

"Come in," she insists.

"I can't stay long dad is waiting in the car."

"Ok."

"Stop trying to bribe me. Ok?"

"Did you enjoy your fishing trip?"

"Yes."

"Good," Jenny comments.

"But you can't buy my love. Why don't you understand that?"

"Bo I do understand that," she argues.

"I don't think that you do. I am a kid. I don't want all that stuff."

"Bo what do you want?"

"I just want you to leave me alone. I have a family. I don't need you."

"Bo I am your mother. I love you. I just want to get to know you."

"Then you should have thought of that before you faked your own death. You left me. That isn't my fault."

"You are absolutely right. I made some incredibly unwise decisions."

"They were mistakes," he corrects her.

"I want to make it up to you."

"Why don't you get it?" he questions in frustration.

"Get what?"

"You can't make it up to me. As long as I live you are never going to be able to make it up to me."

"I can try," she argues.

"Stop trying."

"Bo I am trying to fix this."

"You can't. Stop trying."

"You are my son. I have made some pretty serious mistakes, but I am not going anywhere. I want to be here. I want to get to know you."

"The only way to do that is to start over."

"I can do that, can you?"

"No," he admits, "It hurt too much.""Bo I am so sorry that I hurt you. I would do anything to take back those years that I was gone. I was selfish, and I was stupid. I couldn't see that you were the most important thing in my life."

He shakes his head, and turns towards the door, "You are never going to get it. I'm not a thing. I'm a person," he pulls the door open, "I'm your son," he walks away.

"Wait," she calls after him.

He slams the door behind him. He stomps back to the car. He climbs inside, and sinks into his seat.

"How did it go? Did you ask her to go to lunch with you, like you planned?" Gibbs questions.

"No."

"It was your idea, what happened?"

"I'm still too angry at her. She doesn't get it."

"Bo she just wants to get to know you."

"She should have thought about that before she left me. I thought that she was dead. Nothing is ever going to change that."

"She rented you a sailboat."

"For an afternoon."

"It was a nice gesture."

"It was a bribe, and it didn't work."

"You didn't have a good time?"

"I always have a good time with you."

"Bo you should give her a chance."

"Why? I am tired of being disappointed."

"Are you ready to go?"

"I just want to go home," he looks out his window, "and this is never going to be it."

"Ok," Gibbs nods.

* * *

When he reaches their destination Bo scrambles into the apartment, making a beeline to his room. He runs past Ziva.

"How did it go?" she questions him.

He doesn't answer her. He continues to his room, and slams the door closed. Gibbs reaches the doorway. He holds out Bo's backpack. Ziva takes it from him, and sits it on the floor.

"Come in," she motions for him.

He enters the apartment, and closes the door behind him.

"It didn't go well?" Ziva inquires.

"He is still so angry at her," Gibbs admits.

"Can you blame him?"

"Not one bit."

"Do you think that he is ever going to forgive her?"

Gibbs shrugs, "I don't know. Maybe you should talk to him."

"And say what?"

"That holding grudges doesn't get you anywhere."

"I can try."

"I should get going."

She nods, and he leaves the apartment. She heads to Bo's room. She stops at the door, but doesn't knock. She grips the knob, and pushes the door open. She finds Bo sitting on his bed. She takes a seat next to him.

"Bo," she begins.

He cuts her off, "I don't need a lecture."

"I am not here to give you a lecture. Just tell me what happened?"

"She is never going to get it. She says that she's sorry, but nothing she does proves that to me."

"Sometimes you have to be the bigger person, even when it hurts."

"I am just a kid," he reminds her.

"I know that."

"I shouldn't have to be the bigger person."

"Bo you should give her a chance."

"Why?"

"Because you will regret it if you don't."

"No, I won't."

"Bo what if she got hit by a car tomorrow, and you never got to have a second chance?"

"She's already dead to me."

"Bo don't say things like that."

"She came back from the dead once."

"I am not asking you to move in with her. I am not asking you to even forgive her. I am just asking you to give her a chance. Get to know her a little."

"Why?"

"Because she's your mother."

She shakes his head, and hugs her tightly, "No she's not."


	26. Borrowed Time

He hears the door open, but he feels no sense of alarm, or panic. He sits at the kitchen table eating steak, and drinking a beer. A familiar figure enters the room, and joins him at the table. She takes a seat next to him. He barely looks up from his plate for two seconds. Being the strong silent type that he is, he chooses to say nothing, knowing that she will want to lead the conversation, anyway.

"You are probably wondering what I'm doing here. I know that you are tired of talking to me. I know that you are never going to understand what I have done, and why I had to leave. You feel as if I should wait, and let Bo have time, and space to make sense of all of this."

"You're impatient," he comments.

She shakes her head, "No, Jethro, that isn't what this is about. It's not why I am here, or why I came back."

"Jen if you have something to say, then just say it," he insists.

"I did spend part of the time that I was gone tracking dangerous predators."

"And the other part of the time?"

"Not everything was a lie, not everything was a game."

"Jenny," he looks her in the eye, "For the millionth time, I am not the one that you need to be explaining this to."

"Please just listen," she begs.

"I am listening."

"I am selfish, and I wanted more time. I needed more time. I wanted to get to see my son grow up."

"Then why the hell did you walk away?"

"Because my time was about to run out."

"You should have asked for help. I could have protected you."

"You couldn't, and you can't," she argues.

"I should have been there. You should have been honest with me from the beginning. Jen, you should have told me I had a son. You could have told me what your plan was all along."

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't even know what it was. I didn't know for certain that I was going to get a second chance."

"What do you mean?"

"One day I realized that I had spent so much time trying to buy more that I squandered too much of it."

"What do you mean buy more time?"

"Jethro, I'm sick."

"Jenny I don't want to hear an excuse about why you left our son."

"It isn't an excuse. It is the truth."

"The truth?" He cocks an eyebrow.

"Which I should have told you all along."

"So tell me now."

"I was desperate to change my fate. I wanted my son to get to have a mother. When I left I was really sick. I went in for treatment immediately after I left. I didn't think that I was going to survive, but I had to try. I thought that at least if I didn't make it Bo would have Ziva. They are kindred spirits, and at least he would have a happy childhood. I thought that maybe he would be too young to remember me."

"Why did you come back?"

"The treatment worked. Eventually I will succumb to this disease, but I have considerably more time now. I know that you may not have understood why I felt the need to be a part of Bo's life seemingly out of the blue. I know that you can never forgive me for what I did. I am not asking for forgiveness. I am just asking for your help to convince him to spend time with me. He is probably never going to call me mom, again, and I have to be okay with that. I just want to spend whatever time that I have left, with him," she blinks away tears.

"Jen, it's not up to me. I can try to convince him, but he is as stubborn as I am, and more determined than you are. It is going to take a lot to change his mind."

"If anyone can do it, you can."

"Why did you come back? Jen it seems selfish, and cruel."

"What do you mean?"

"You want him to spend time with you, and develop a relationship with you. You want him to get attached to him, just so you can leave him again? It's selfish. When you go he is going to be devastated."

"I am not going to walk away from him."

"How the hell is he supposed to know that," he raises his voice, "when you walked away from him before? How is he supposed to believe anything that you say? I honestly don't know if I even want you to be part of his life."

"I am dying."

"What if you have years left?"

"So what if I do?"

"Even if you don't, he is going to get attached to you. He had almost got over losing you once, and now you want him to lose you again?"

"I love him."

"If you loved him you wouldn't have left him. I don't care what the circumstance was, abandoning your son, our son was not the right thing to do."

Her face turns red, in anger, "I am not the only one who is good at leaving," she reminds him.

"I regret leaving my family every single day of my life. I left, and there was nothing to come home to. Do you have any idea how that feels? I lost my wife, and my daughter. It was my fault, and I can't change it. I have to live with that regret everyday. I want to have empathy for you, but I can't."

"I am not going to have this argument with you."

"Life is short. It is over in the blink of an eye. You have always known that, and you still chose to leave him. Excuse me if I don't feel sorry for you. Don't you know that you can't just pick up where you left off?"

"Why can't you understand that I am just trying to make this right?"

"For who?"

Before she can answer she hears the floorboard nearby squeak. She looks at Gibbs in horror.

"Bo is supposed to be with Ziva," she comments.

He says nothing as he vacates his seat at the table, and leaves the room. He finds Bo racing up the stairs. He stops at the bottom of the staircase as he hears the door slam. Jenny joins him.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't enough," he tells her, "You should go," he adds as he starts up the stairs.


End file.
